Breaking Free
by JCS Writer
Summary: REPOST move to new account - Fix for Coda and rest of season by working Beth into the episodes. She stood with him, but he kept his eyes on the danger, determined to stand between her and it. He pressed his hand to her, trying to keep the blood inside, barely aware as she did the same for him. Beth/Daryl. A lot of Momma Beth with Judith/Momma Carol with all. Character Deaths.
1. Chapter 1

REPOST TO MOVE TO NEW ACCOUNT. Sorry for any confusion or inconvenience the move has caused.

Breaking Free - The Walking Dead

All recognized characters, situations, and locations belong to AMC, the writers, creators, and actors of The Walking Dead. No infringement intended. Song is cited

I actually liked the ideas behind the first two episodes of the second half of the season. But found too many plot holes in "What Happened and What's Going on" and thought they were trying too hard in "Them". Also I spent way too much time in episodes 2 &amp; 3 wondering where Judith was.

*x*x*x*x*x*x*x* X *x*x*x*x*x*x*x*

_Death surrounds  
My heartbeat's slowing down  
I won't take this world's abuse  
I won't give up or refuse_

_This is how it feels when you're bent and broken_  
_This is how it feels when your dignity's stolen_  
_When everything you love is leaving_  
_You hold on to what you believe in_

_The last thing I heard was you whispering goodbye_  
_And then I heard you flatline_

– Not Gonna Die – Skillet – lyrics by Cooper, John &amp; Cooper, Korey © Warner/Chappell Music Inc

*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*

Carol opened her eyes slowly. As her vision focused she saw Beth's face. "Beth," she sighed in relief. "You're OK."

"So you two do know each other," Dawn said. "What's her name?"

"Carol," Beth replied, squeezing Carol's hand gently. Carol met her eyes and Beth saw the understanding there.

"Well Carol, Beth here likely saved your life," Dawn smirked.

Beth turned to glare, "Means she owes me instead of you, right?"

Dawn slapped her, hard across the face. Beth fell against the side rail of the bed. Carol tried to reach up, but Beth caught her hand. Dawn shook her head, "Beth, this attitude needs to stop. How many lessons do you need to have before you realize I am all that stands between you and death? You are alone, weak and pitiful. Now say you're sorry."

"I'm sorry," Beth repeated as a tear slipped from Carol's eye.

Dawn walked out of the room, closing the door and locking it firmly.

"Beth," Carol whispered.

"It was my fault, I shouldn't've said that," Beth said as she shakily poured a glass of water.

"God. The number of times I said that after Ed beat the shit out of me," Carol replied. Beth helped her sit slightly and take a drink. "We found Noah outside. Daryl and I chased down the car that took you. He knows you're here. If he hasn't come yet, he must've gone for the others."

"Others?"

"Maggie, Glenn, Michonne, Rick, Carl, Judith, Tyreese, Sasha, Bob. There's a few new people too, military couple and a scientist. We'll be together soon and everything will be fine." Carol struggled to reach up and stroke Beth's uninjured cheek. "You're all Daryl's thought about. He is coming for you, you gotta hang on until then. He is going to make them pay."

"It's her," Beth replied, her eyes wide as she processed the information, "It's her that's wrong. Not this place, or even the other cops, at least not the ones left. It's her. She's done this, she turned this into hell." She stilled as the lock clicked open.

Dr. Edwards opened the door, "Well hello. Never actually thought I'd be talking to you."

*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*

Carol gathered her strength and stood from the wheelchair with Daryl's help. She leaned against him and pressed her face to his neck for a second, then she kissed his cheek and whispered into his ear, "That woman hurt Beth, don't let her near her again." Daryl gripped her hand and nodded. She walked further into the group until Tyreese could take her arm.

Then Beth was taking that slow walk towards them in exchange for the last cop. She reached Rick and he gently cupped her head to draw her close. He kissed her gently then urged her behind him to Daryl.

"Now I just need Noah," Dawn demanded.

Beth took a step forward but Daryl grabbed and held on. She glared at him but his eyes were watching Dawn. He pulled Beth firmly to stand behind him.

"He stays with us. He owes us. We need him," Dawn said.

Beth peeked over Daryl's shoulder and smirked, "What 'we' Dawn? There's no 'we' here." Dawn glanced back. The other cops stood clustered together with their freed comrades. Their guns were holstered and they were standing easy, watching. "You're alone. Weak and pathetic."

"Pitiful," Carol corrected.

"Oh, right, thanks," Beth replied.

Dawn began to breathe more rapidly. Rick smiled, "First rule of the streets, if you don't have backup, you don't have anything. And you definitely don't pick a fight you are bound to lose. You can't win this. We are walking out of here. All of us, including anyone else who wants to go. You are going to stand back and watch."

Officer Licari caught his eye and smirked, "Anyone else looking to leave should pack up and go." Dawn whirled around in shock. "It's a mutiny Captain Blight."

"Bligh," Daryl corrected.

Licari blinked, "Really? It isn't Blight? Huh. I always thought that's where the word blight came from. Learn something new every day."

Dawn turned back to see Noah walking away. The group had gathered around Beth and Carol to check them over. Her cops were moving in the other direction. She was standing there alone, unsupported, abandoned. Because of her. This was all her fault. Dawn yanked the gun from her holster.

Daryl hadn't taken his eyes off the woman. He saw her raise and cock the gun. "Look out!" He grabbed Beth and swept her behind him as he raised his own gun. Dawn began firing. Daryl stumbled back then he returned fire along with Rick. Dawn fell, two small holes forming in her forehead.

Daryl's eyes went to Beth, "You OK? Oh Jesus." Blood poured from her shoulder, drenching the shirt and sweater.

Beth looked down, "Oh. This is going to really hurt soon, isn't it?" Daryl pressed his hands over the wound. She reached out her hands and pressed them to the center of his chest. "Daryl."

Daryl looked down. Blood spurted out of him, coating her hands. "Oh. Oh shit."

"Sit down man," Tyreese commanded. When Daryl didn't comply, the larger man shoved hard at his knees forcing his descent to the floor.

As Daryl sank, Beth began to pitch over backwards. Rick caught her gently and helped her to the floor. Beth gazed up at the ceiling and Rick's hovering face as her vision faded. "Hang on Beth. You hear me? Hang on!"

The cops swarmed forward, stepping over and around their dead leader without a thought.

Daryl looked to Edwards as the doctor dropped to his knees, "Check Beth first." Edwards ignored him and pressed the stethoscope to his chest. Daryl lunged up and grabbed him by the throat, "Beth. First." Licari pried his hand off the doctor easily. Daryl felt awareness slipping away. "If she dies… don't save me."

*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*

The first thing that sank into his consciousness was the pain. He moaned aloud, unable to stop himself. He heard the scrape of fabric, then Rick's voice. "It's OK, Brother, hang on a minute." A warm hand pressed onto his forehead, then gripped his wrist as the rush of morphine replaced the pain. Daryl opened his eyes. Rick was leaning over him, "Hey."

"Hey," Daryl replied. "What happened?"

"You got shot."

"Hmm. 'Member that," Daryl replied. "Beth?"

"She's going to be fine," Rick's voice was even, but he suddenly gripped Daryl's arm in a way that made him uneasy. Daryl stared at him then shove his hand away. "No," Rick ordered, "She's fine. Look. She's right there!"

Daryl turned his head to see that Beth lay on a bed against the wall. She was pale, with a mask over her mouth and nose and multiple lines running to her. But she was there. The heart monitor showed a steady rhythm and he could see her chest rise as she breathed. "Scared me."

"Do you remember waking up at all since the shooting?" Rick asked. Daryl shook his head. "Three times. Each time you shoved everyone away and got out of bed. Ripped up all the doctor's work to put you back together." Daryl looked at him uncomprehendingly. "Daryl you were shot in the chest. The bullet broke a rib, just missed your heart and lodged against your spine. Doc had to go in to get it and put your ribs back together. You've got a drain in your chest. Each time you got up he had to patch you up again. That's why we squeezed her bed in here but you can't get up. You hear me?"

Daryl nodded, "And Beth. How bad was it?"

"Bullet cracked her collar bone and nicked the artery. Some possible nerve damage in her arm but he won't know until the swelling goes down. She's been in and out, mostly out. She lost a lot of blood. But she's going to be alright. She's strong."

"I know. Carol?" Daryl scowled as his voice grew raspy.

"She's across the hall, back in bed. Doc says she just needs more time to heal. Shoulder was dislocated and a few broken ribs."

Daryl fought to stay awake but was sucked back into the darkness. As he drifted away, he felt Rick's hand grip his arm again. "Sleep easy."

*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*

"Grimes?"

Rick startled and turned. He'd moved over to sit with Beth for a few minutes when it looked like she was going to wake up. But she'd settled back into an obviously deep sleep.

"The rest of your group, they traveling in a fire engine?" Licari asked.

Rick snorted, "Not that I'm aware of, why?"

"Group outside, demanding your release," Licari grinned. "Rolled up in a big, loud, red fire truck, says they're here to rescue you all."

Rick sighed, "Can you ask Tyreese or Sasha to come in here? I don't want to leave them alone."

Licari nodded and stepped back out, returning a minute later with Tyreese. "Hey," Ty greeted. "Sasha's in with Carol, they're both napping."

"Same here," Rick replied. "Daryl woke up and actually seemed lucid this time. It didn't last long." He stood up and offered Tyreese the chair. "But it was better than the last few times. Beth has been out since Edwards came in last time."

*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*

Rick walked to the exit flanked by Licari and Shepherd. He blinked in the sudden bright light outside and paused to let his eyes adjust.

"RICK," Glenn called.

Rick was finally able to focus and could see the other cops standing squared off with his group led by Glenn and Abraham. Guns were pointed, everyone looked tense. "STAND DOWN!" Rick demanded. "What the hell is going on?"

"Uhm… We're here to rescue you?" Glenn replied as he slowly lowered his weapon.

"Rescue's done," Rick said. "Everything is under control. Or was until you guys rolled up. What are you doing here anyway?"

"Eugene lied," Glenn reported. "There's no switch to flip. No cure. No reason to go to DC, especially not since between here and there was a massive field of a couple thousand walkers."

"We lost the church," Michonne added. "Gabriel snuck out to check on our story about the Terminus people. Led a swarm back to us. We got out safe, Carl and Judith are in the truck. Everyone OK here?"

Rick sighed, "No." He walked closer to Maggie. "Beth is alive but she was shot." Maggie let out a sob and Glenn wrapped his arms around her. "So was Daryl. Carol is in rough shape too."

"The woman in charge here was a narcissistic tyrant," Licari reported. "We were planning to rebel. Sorry to say we waited too long."

"Where is she?" Maggie demanded.

"Dead," Rick replied. "Come on. We'll tell you everything and you can see Beth. She's asleep now."

The cops stood guard as the group gathered their things. Rick took Judith in his arms and she cooed at him. "Beth is going to be so happy to see you." Judy squealed. "I know. You missed her didn't you?"

Licari smiled, "It's been way too long since I've seen a baby."

"Any kids?"

"No. I always thought there'd be time." Licari reached over and stroked Judy's hair.

Rick shrugged, "There is. You're still alive."

*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*

Maggie sobbed as she walked into the room where Beth lay sleeping. Rick shushed her but Daryl started to respond, coming awake struggling.

"Hey," Rick leaned into his line of sight, "Everything's OK. Take it easy."

"Beth?" Daryl whispered.

"She's fine, still asleep. Maggie and Glenn are in here."

Maggie walked over and smiled at Daryl, "Hey. Sorry I woke you." Daryl grunted in response.

Glenn came to stand next to Rick so Rick moved out of the way and went back over to Beth. "Do you need anything Daryl?" Glenn asked.

"No," Daryl replied. He took a deep breath and winced, his hand coming up to the bandage on his chest. "S'my fault. That Beth's hurt."

"Daryl," Maggie shook her head.

"That is the dumbest thing I've ever heard you say," Rick snorted. "You didn't shoot her. That crazy bitch did. Hell you were protecting her. I saw her try to go to Dawn when she demanded Noah. You kept her back, stood between her and the cops. You did everything you could. She's hurt but she's OK. She's strong, she'll heal."

"Hmm," Beth sounded. Everyone in the room responded. Maggie leapt to her side and gathered her uninjured hand between her own.

Daryl instantly tried to get up. "NO!" Rick ordered. "Daryl I told you, you cannot get out of bed yet." He and Glenn held him down gently but firmly. "Come on brother, relax. Relax. She's right there."

"Daryl?" Beth called softly.

Rick shifted so he wasn't blocking their view of each other, "He's right here Bethy. He's OK, just needs to rest and heal like you do."

Daryl met her gaze and she smiled at him. She smiled up at her sister and whispered "Hi" then her eyes fluttered closed and she sighed.

Rick patted Daryl's shoulder, then pressed the button to give him another hit of the morphine. "Don't," Daryl grumbled, "Don't wanna sleep."

"Hm-mmm," Rick replied.

"Asshole," Daryl mumbled as he drifted off.

*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*

Then next time Daryl woke up it was to Edwards gently pressing on his chest. He growled and lashed out. Michonne caught his fist, "Hey there, he's just checking you."

"Check Beth," Daryl mumbled, then hissed as Edwards touched a sensitive spot.

"Already did," Edwards replied. "She's doing well. So is Carol. And so are you. Few more days and I'll take the chest tube out. Until then lay still."

Michonne snickered, "Dixon doesn't do still very well."

"I've noticed."

Daryl scowled at them both.

*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*

The days dragged on endlessly.

*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*

"You could get them to move your bed back into another room, if you want," Daryl said.

Beth smiled, "I'm fine here. It helps if I open my eyes if I can see you there."

"Why? Can't do anythin'. Can't even move."

"You don't have to do anythin', you just gotta be there."

"Oh." After a moment of silence, he admitted, "I chased that car, the one that took you from me, I chased it for miles and miles."

"I heard you callin' my name. They threw me in the trunk. I don't remember much but I remember you callin' me. I thought it was just a dream, but even then, that's what kept me tryin' to get out of here. Hearin' you call my name. I knew I'd see you again."

"I wanted to say… you were right… I missed you. I missed you so bad it hurt to breathe. Felt like maybe I wasn't breathin' no more."

She blinked rapidly, "Daryl… you gotta keep goin' no matter what. Even if somethin' happens to me, you gotta. Promise me."

Daryl broke eye contact to stare at the ceiling, "Can't do that. Can't go through that again. So you gotta keep livin'. Or wait for me at the pearly gates 'cause I'll be right behind yah." Beth began to weep quietly. "Don't cry Beth. Please. I didn't mean to make you sad."

Rick walked in carrying Judith who was sucking down a bottle, "What's going on? Beth, honey, what is it?"

"I'm an idiot," Daryl said.

"Oh," Rick shrugged. "Beth?"

"I'm OK," Beth sniffled.

Judith turned and squealed, dropping the bottle to reach for Beth. Rick carried her over as Beth wiped her face and smiled at the baby. Rick carefully laid Judith on Beth's uninjured side and the baby instantly curled against her. Beth kissed the top of her head and began to sing softly to her. Judith cooed back to her, then yawned.

"Rick, Licari needs to see you a minute," Tyreese said from the doorway.

"OK," Rick nodded, "Keep an eye on Judy? She seems content where she is."

Tyreese smiled, "Of course she is, her momma's got her."

Beth sighed, "I'm not her momma."

"Of course you are," Rick said. "You don't have to give birth to a child to be its mother." He walked out of the room.

Tyreese settled into the chair, "You know for a hospital, these chairs are pretty comfortable."

Daryl dropped his hand away from his mouth where he'd been chewing on his thumbnail, "Wouldn't know, nobody'll let me up."

"Well you got shot in the damn chest, man," Tyreese teased. "You're lucky you're alive." He sighed, "It all happened so fast. One second we're OK, next you two are bleeding. This was my idea. My plan that got us here, put you two here."

"Ain't your fault," Daryl said.

"Tyreese, this would have gone bad no matter how it was done," Beth said. "Dawn was paranoid about losing control. Any threat to that would send her over the edge. She snapped and beat me because I told her that no government agency was going to swoop in and save them while rewarding her for what she did."

"She beat you?" Daryl growled. He was obviously chewing on the inside of his lip.

"She beat everyone," Beth replied evenly. Judith sighed and fell asleep against her. Beth rubbed her back gently. Judith smiled in her sleep and nuzzled closer.

"This guy Licari seems OK," Tyreese said. "Seems to be taking over."

Beth gave a half shrug, "He wasn't around much. Few of the ones that were, were not decent. They're gone now. Dead. Dawn let them do whatever they wanted. Horrible things. I guess what Licari will be like will take time to see." She looked up as Mr. Percy shuffled into the doorway, "Hi Mr. Percy, how are you?" He didn't respond. "Mr. Percy?"

Mr. Percy looked up, his eyes had gone cloudy and his face was bloodless. He growled and lunged into the room. Tyreese lurched out of the chair, pulling his knife as he moved. The walker that had been Mr. Percy shoved him aside, then turned as Judith began to wail. Tyreese slammed into corner of the doorframe and dropped. Beth rolled away as the walker grabbed at her. She sat Judith on the floor and yanked the lines out of her arm and off her chest then scooped the baby back up in one arm. She shoved the bed into the walker as Tyreese regained his feet. Daryl yanked out the chest tube and struggled to rise. Beth went to him and shoved him back down by placing the screaming baby on his abdomen. Tyreese lunged and grabbed the walker and tossed him backwards. The walker lunged again and clamped his mouth down on Ty's arm, biting hard and ripping a chunk of flesh. Tyreese screamed and shoved the walker away, falling as he cradled his arm to his chest. Beth grabbed the IV holder and stabbed it into the walker's head, directly through its eye.

For a second the only sound was their harsh breathing and Judith's sniffles. Beth dropped the IV rack and staggered out into the hallway. "RICK! WE NEED HELP IN HERE!" she screamed. She reached out and braced herself against the wall as blood began to saturate the hospital gown she wore. "RICK? GLENN! MAGGIE!"

"BETH!" Daryl called.

Rick ran up followed by Michonne, Abraham, and Licari. "Beth?"

"Mr. Percy's dead. He bit Tyreese. Help," Her eyes rolled up and she collapsed into his arms.

*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*

Beth opened her eyes, blinking in the bright light. "Hey, sweetie," Carol was sitting next to her.

"Hi," Beth whispered. "You're up."

Carol smiled, "Only for a little while. I was starting to grow roots in that bed." She stroked Beth's hair back. "Maggie and Michonne will help you take a bath later. That'll feel good."

"He didn't make it, did he?"

Carol shook her head and her chin quivered, "They amputated his arm but it was too late. The infection spread too quickly. Fever and hallucinations hit within an hour. Sasha was with him when he passed." Her voice broke and she sniffled.

"He saved us. Daryl, Judith, and me," Beth began to cry. "He went straight at Mr. Percy."

"I know baby, I know," Carol hugged her gently. "He was like that. Strong. Brave. He got Judith out of the prison. He was…" she broke off again weeping.

"And Daryl?" Beth whispered after Carol calmed.

Carol nodded her head to the opposite bed, "He'll be OK. He did some damage pulling the chest tube out. Again. Dr. Edwards just left it out this time." Beth looked over to where Daryl lay, pale and quiet against the sheets. He muttered and flinched then settled. "He's called your name a few times."

"He saved my life too. Before."

Carol smiled, "You saved his. More than that, you saved his soul." She stroked Beth's face gently, "Get some more rest, sweetheart. You're safe now. I'll see about getting you that bath, OK?" She leaned over and kissed Beth's forehead, then slipped out of the room.

"Beth?" Daryl's eyes fluttered open to search the room.

"I'm right here."

*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*

_Break their hold  
Cause I won't be controlled  
They can't keep their chains on me  
When the truth has set me free_

_This is how it feels when you take your life back_  
_This is how it feels when you finally fight back_  
_When life pushes me I push harder_  
_What doesn't kill me makes me stronger_

_The last thing I heard is you whispering goodbye_  
_And then I heard you flatline_

_No, not gonna die tonight_  
_We've gotta stand and fight forever_  
_(Don't close your eyes)_  
_No, not gonna die tonight_  
_We've gotta fight for us together_  
_No, we're not gonna die tonight_

_Don't you give up on me_  
_You're everything I need_  
_This is how it feels when you take your life back_  
_This is how it feels when you fight back_

Not Gonna Die – lyrics by Cooper, John &amp; Cooper, Korey © Warner/Chappell Music Inc


	2. Chapter 2

**Breaking Free 2 **

**All recognized characters, situations, and locations belong to AMC, the writers, creators, and actors of The Walking Dead. **

**Still looking at continuing this through the rest of the season, keeping Beth in the storyline. Obviously very AU. Have the next few planned out including most of the arrival at Alexandria written. Have not given up on Redneck Takes a Wife, just going back and forth between them and this chapter was done first. I couldn't find first names for the cops at Grady, so I am using the actors' first names.**

*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*

"Daryl you need to pay attention," Rosita reprimanded.

Daryl just scowled at her. He was doing bench presses to strengthen his chest muscles and had missed the rack. Rosita had caught it before it dropped onto him, thankfully. It had only been two weeks since the shooting, but he was determined to push himself to full strength. Right now though, his thoughts were elsewhere. Where they had been since the prison fell… with Beth.

Licari and Rick had requested she sit with him and tell him everything that had happened since she arrived at the hospital. Beth agreed. Daryl had started to follow but Rick stopped him.

"She needs to be comfortable enough to talk this out," Rick said. "I'll be there."

So he was here, gripping the weight bar, cursing the pain and weakness, desperately craving a cigarette, trying to focus on lifting, but with his thoughts in the other room.

*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*

It was obvious Beth was very uncomfortable with Licari, so he sat in a chair against the wall in the small lounge, where she could see him, but not in her direct line of sight. She rubbed her hand nervously on her pants leg, Rick took it gently between his as he sat with her on the couch.

"Just talk to us Bethy," Rick urged. "Licari… Chris, just needs to know what went on here. There's no wrong answers, sweetie. Just talk to me."

"Gorman said he was the one who found me, took me from Daryl," Beth said looking to Licari.

Chris Licari nodded, "He was. He said you were alone, but it wasn't the first time he lied about that." He took a deep breath, "You are young, beautiful. He wanted you so he took you."

Beth seemed to steady herself at his tone, "He came at me in Dawn's office. Said I had to be nice to him or he'd tell Dawn I was in there. Joan had killed herself on the floor behind the desk."

"Joan?" Rick asked.

"Another ward," Licari answered. "She was Gorman's target before Beth."

"She'd tried earlier and they saved her by amputating her arm," Beth shuddered. Rick stroked her arm gently. "She was just starting to come back when Gorman… touched me. I hit him over the head with a jar of lollipops and knocked him down to her. She ripped his throat out. He'd taunted me with a lollipop earlier. And I knew he was hurting Joan. Seemed like justice." She glanced at Licari.

He nodded, "Sounds like it to me. Joan wasn't his first. You made sure she was his last. Tell me about O'Donnell." He stayed silent as she revealed the incident where O'Donnell died.

Without prompting, she immediately told them about the doctor that had been brought in, and Edwards' directions that caused the man's death. Skipping forward again, she talked about her escape with Noah, then Carol being brought in and her actions to get the medication to her. She stopped talking, voice beginning to grow slightly hoarse from fatigue. She looked directly at Rick, "Ask me. Ask me the questions."

"Beth," Rick soothed. When she just looked at him, he nodded, "How many walkers have you killed?"

"Lots."

"How many people have you killed?"

"Three."

"Why?"

Tears filled her eyes, "Two attacked me, one I didn't mean to."

Rick gathered her to his chest and rested his chin on her hair, "One was self-defense, two were because you were being used by someone else. Yes, Bethy, you can come in. Shh. Take it easy."

Licari walked out of the lounge, returning with Edwards who carried a vial and syringe. Edwards advanced, then suddenly Licari grabbed his arm and took the vial to read the label. "What? You said to bring a sedative."

Licari glowered at him, "I know, but I also know what you did. So from now on, you don't give anyone anything unless I OK it."

Edwards swallowed, "I'm not sure… what she told you… but…"

"The truth," Rick retorted.

Licari nodded, "And the problem is, a doctor I don't trust, is less than worthless to me. He's a liability. A burden I really don't need. So I suggest you be very careful in your treatment choices."

Edwards looked at the vial extended towards him, "If she's just upset and hurting, a pill would be better." He glanced at Beth's tear streaked face resting against Rick's throat. "I'll be right back with them."

"I don't need anything," Beth whispered as she turned away from him.

Rick rubbed her back gently. As he pressed near her shoulder, she flinched. Rick looked to Licari and nodded. Edwards came back with two bottles of pills and a bottle of water. He handed them to Licari who brought them to Rick to examine. Rick nodded and Licari shook out a pill from each.

"Bethy, I want you to take these for me," Rick said. When she hesitated, he insisted, "Take them." She swallowed them obediently with a long swallow of the water. Then he pulled her back against his chest, "You rest now. You did real good." He kissed the top of her head. "I'm so proud of you, Beth. You are so strong. You survived this and you're still you. What you've done, what we've all done, matters. But what matters more is that we survived to this point, and where we go from here." Beth sighed and her eyes grew heavy. Rick shifted her into his arms and stood up. It was only then that he realized Licari was still in the room. He helped Rick settle her in his arms. "Go ahead of us and tell Daryl she's OK, just worn out. I carry her by and he'll lose it."

Licari nodded and walked out. Sure enough, Daryl met Rick coming up the hall. "Want me to take her?"

Rick shook his head, "I got her." He gave a half grin, "I think."

Daryl returned the smile, "She's heavier than she looks."

Rick cringed, "Don't let her hear you say that."

Daryl shrugged, "Told her straight out. Ain't got no reason to not say shit to her."

Rick gently laid Beth down onto her bed as Daryl held the blankets back. Beth roused slightly, saw them both hovered over her and smiled before drifting back to sleep.

"What did she say happened?" Daryl whispered as he tucked her in.

Rick took a deep breath, "Edwards used her to kill someone. Lerner used her to kill another." He studied Daryl's face as he continued, "One of the cops tried to rape her. She killed him." His words hit Daryl like a physical blow. He flinched and backed away. "Hey. Hey! Listen. She was able to survive, my guess because of the time spent with you. We certainly didn't train her to do much. I didn't expect much from her except to care for Judy. But you did. That's why she's here." Rick gripped his arm. "We will get through this. We will do better for each other and we won't get separated again." He sighed, "She'll probably sleep a while, Doc gave her a Valium and oxy… something. I'll make sure someone brings you dinner."

Daryl waited for Rick to leave, then dragged the chair over to Beth's bedside. The loud screech of the chair legs on the floor woke her. "Sorry," he whispered.

"S'OK," she replied, blinking slowly.

"Go to sleep," he urged, "I'll be right here."

*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*

"Hey," Carol greeted from the stove where she was stirring a large pot, "How is she?"

Rick sighed, "OK. Asleep. Daryl's with her."

Carol smirked, "You say that like it's news." She slid the pot off the hot burner. "What did she say?"

"She killed two of the cops. Licari sees both as justified. Sounds like the worst of the bunch. Licari says the others will follow him, especially with those two gone."

"And if he didn't? See them as justified?"

Rick shrugged, "His opinion doesn't matter much to me. I would prefer not to have to kill him, but the reality is, we are who matter to me."

Carol nodded. The silence stretched for a long moment. "She saved my life, didn't she?"

Rick nodded, "Sounds like it. Sounds like they wanted to write you off. Dawn used you to exert more control over Bethy. Made her further in debt by letting her treat you and keeping it secret, promising not to tell about the deaths. Doesn't sound like Bethy realized the others knew she'd killed them."

Carol smiled, "You've been doing that, you know. Calling her Bethy. Hershel used to do that."

"I know. I should probably stop."

"I think if she minded, she'd tell you." Judith began to fuss in the makeshift crib in the corner. Carol walked over and lifted her carefully. "Goodness you are getting heavy."

Rick followed and took his daughter, "You OK?"

Carol sighed, "Ribs hurt, shoulder hurts. But yeah. I'm OK." She stroked Judith's hair. "She had a good nap."

Judith sucked on her fingers for a second, looking around, "Beh?"

"Did she just say…?" Rick gasped. Carol nodded. Rick kissed Judith's cheek. "Beth's sleeping. We'll peek in on her later. For now let's go get you changed and see what Carl's doing."

"Cuh."

"Yes. Carl."

"Dadadadadadada."

Rick smiled.

*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*

It had been three weeks since the shooting. Daryl was still pushing himself too hard, but ignored everyone's requests that he slow down. Beth had started exercises to work the muscles in her shoulder.

"My pinky and ring finger are still numb," Beth said. Edwards was examining the wound on her shoulder as Maggie, Rick, and Daryl looked on. "I can move them, but really can't feel anything."

Edwards nodded, "There was likely nerve damage. I really can't tell you if it will get better." He glanced nervously at the two men, Daryl especially who was glowering at him. Edwards tapped her hand in a few places to map the extent of the numbness, then looked to Rick, "Her hand from here over," he traced a line from between her fingers diagonally across her hand, "is affected. Beth you'll need to keep track of where this is to see if it spreads or gets better."

"And if it spreads?" Maggie asked.

Edwards again glanced worriedly at Daryl, "Really there's not much we can do. Going into her shoulder again would risk further damage to the nerves." He checked her wrist, now encased in a removable brace. He finished the exam and was obviously relieved as he walked out of the room.

Rick stroked Beth's hair, "It'll be OK, Bethy."

Beth nodded, "I'll just have to adjust. It's my left hand anyway. And it's not like I'm playin' piano all the time."

Daryl grunted, "If we find another one, you gotta play for Asskicker." Beth smiled.

"Speaking of," Rick said, "I better go rescue Tara. She's probably regretting volunteering to watch her by now."

*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*

But all too soon, the peaceful truce grew shaky.

Rick and Licari were coexisting well enough by staying out of each other's way. Licari was establishing himself in charge of the cops, making a few changes along the way (getting rid of the uniforms was first on his list). He was having a few issues, one cop who thought he should be in charge, another who seemed to be grieving hard for Dawn and blaming them, Beth especially, for the loss. Licari was keeping her away from them but even brief contact was awkward. Rick knew it was getting to be time to go. Daryl, Beth, and Carol were all doing better, getting stronger.

But Rick was having his own issues within his group. He expected to have some alpha male problems with Abraham, but after he lost it with Eugene, Abe was doubting his own judgment and was deferring all decisions to Rick. The problems coming from the others were surprising. Sasha was deep in grief and as a result was taking unnecessary risks while on runs. Rick stopped sending her out, and she went out on her own. Any attempt to talk to her was met with an angry glare and silence.

The worst issue, emotion wise, was coming up between Maggie, Beth, and Carol. Maggie was becoming obsessively protective of Beth. She would panic if Beth was out of her sight for more than a few minutes. It was driving Beth crazy which then stirred Carol's maternal instincts. Maggie would demand Beth be close, Beth would refuse, Carol would get between them to defend Beth and try to calm Maggie, Maggie in turn would lash out at Carol, triggering a defensive reaction in Beth. They would argue, then calm, only for the cycle to be repeated later. One afternoon it exploded, cascading them all into the chaos.

Everyone was scattered around the room Beth was sitting on a pad of blankets on the floor with Judith. There were a variety of items scattered around that she'd been playing with, but now she was curled on Beth's lap as Carl read to her from a battered book about animals. There wasn't really a story so Carl was making it up as he went along about a lion who was friends with a tiger.

"Then they walked down the street and met a bear," Carl said. "Look Judith, that's a bear. Grrrrr." Judith giggled and growled back at him.

"Lions and tigers and bears, oh my," Rosita recited.

"It's kinda sad," Carl sighed, "Judith will only ever see animals like these in books."

"Well, hopefully," Michonne laughed.

"We saw a herd of giraffes in Alabama," Eugene advised. "My assumption is that when things got really bad, the keepers let some of them out of the enclosures."

Tara's eyes went wide, "Wow, that's somewhat terrifying to think of. Lions and elephants set loose with no predators."

"Except the walkers," Rick said. "Saw them take down a horse early on."

Glenn shuddered, "That was a sight I'll never forget."

Judith patted the book to draw Carl's attention back to her. Carl smiled, "The bear said hello, where are you going?" he dropped his voice to a deep growl. Judith laughed and leaned back to look up to Beth who smiled at her then covered a yawn.

Maggie stood up instantly, "Carl can you take Judith? Beth needs to go rest for a while."

"No I don't, I'm fine," Beth retorted.

"You yawned. You're tired."

Beth rolled her eyes, "No I'm not, Maggie. Stop tellin' me how I'm feelin'." Judith whined slightly at her tone and Beth nuzzled her, "It's OK JuJu. Maggie's just bein' silly. Where are the animals goin'?"

"Beth, you need to rest!" Maggie insisted.

"Maggie leave it alone, she's not a child," Carol said, "If she's not tired, she's not tired."

"Stay out of it Carol!" Maggie snapped. "It's none of your business."

Carol scowled at her, "It's all of our business, Maggie, we're in this together. You're smothering her."

"We're in this together, but she is my sister. She's my burden to bear."

"I cannot BELIEVE you just said that," Carl leapt to his feet. Rick caught his arm.

"She didn't mean it like that," Glenn defended.

"Really?" Daryl snarled, "Cause she just called her sister a damn burden."

The raised voices caught the attention of Licari who arrived along with other cops. They gathered in the hallway outside of the room.

Daryl's eyes filled with fury and he advanced on Maggie. Abe stepped into his path, "Ease back there, Ace."

Daryl panted a few times, reigning in his rage, "She ain't a BURDEN! She's strong, she survived the prison fallin'. She survived this hell."

"She survived the prison because of you!"

Carol shook her head, "She survived because of HER. So did he!"

The cops in the doorway shifted as the tension rose in the room. A few mutters passed between them, then most of them dispersed. Licari and Sheppard inexplicably shook hands, then focused on the arguing again.

"You don't get it," Maggie shouted, "It's been like this since she was born. My mother died, next thing I knew Daddy comes home with a new wife, new brother, then bam, new baby sister. I loved her from the moment she was born, but she's always been fragile."

"What I still don't get is why it took so long for us to find out she even EXISTED," Rosita snapped. "All of Glenn's talk about finding you, Maggie. All those messages you left in walker blood. Never heard her name until Daryl said it in that train car. Oh yeah, Beth my sister. Then nothing again."

"Then you just got in that van and left," Carl yelled at Maggie.

"Of course I did, I didn't expect us to find her. I never expected to find her. Why would I? She's not strong. Not enough to survive alone. When Daryl told us she was kidnapped… I couldn't bear to think of her. Of what she was going through. I thought sure it was the end of her. She is NOT STRONG."

Daryl lunged again as Abraham held him back, "She's stronger than any of us," he shouted. "She survived the prison fallin', watchin' her dad die, survived me bein' a complete ass who could barely focus on puttin' one foot in front of the other. She survived gettin' stolen and tortured. She survived that ALONE HERE! She almost got herself outta here with Noah. You sayin' she's weak just proves you don't know a damn thing about her."

Maggie flinched back from his words and caught sight of Carol shaking her head, "What?"

Carol sighed, "You're doing all this, the hovering, the protecting, all to overcompensate for the fact that you wrote her off as soon as the prison fell. You didn't look for her, so now that she's here you're trying too hard. And she knows it, and she knows the reasons why. You're hurting her by doing this and you need to stop."

Maggie wiped at her face angrily, "ME? What about you? You killed Karen and David in some misguided attempt to stop a sickness that was already spreading! And those girls… what exactly happened to Lizzy and Mika?"

"You did what?" Sasha launched up from her seat, speaking for the first time. "You killed Karen? You nearly destroyed Tyreese with that! How could you do that?"

The yelling continued, but Daryl was calming. He pulled back from Abraham and shrugged off his grip. Then he looked around. Panic kicked in immediately. "Where's Beth?" Everyone fell silent and turned.

Sheppard let out a loud, "HA! Told you!" she shoved Licari. "You owe me one can of mandarin oranges! I knew you'd be the one to realize she left. She's on the roof."

Maggie gasped and covered her face with her hands, "The roof? What if she jum…"

Daryl whirled, "Shut your damn mouth! She didn't survive all this shit just to kill herself, you stupid bitch." He stalked out of the room. Maggie made a move to follow him.

"Hold up, Maggie," Rick commanded. "We need to finish this discussion here and now."

*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*

Daryl took the steps two at a time and slammed outside into the warm sunshine. Beth's voice reached him immediately, singing so sweetly. He took a deep, steadying breath and advanced. She was walking around the garden area with Judith in her arms, both the wrist brace and sling discarded. Judith was sucking on her fingers, tears drying on her cheeks, and sniffling.

"Hey," Daryl greeted.

"Hi," Beth replied, then continued humming to the baby.

"You OK?"

"Not really," she admitted.

Daryl crossed to her and gently wrapped his arms around her, one around her back, the other supporting Judith's weight. Beth leaned against him, her cheek to his chest. "She ain't right. She don't know you. You're strong. Stronger than any of us."

Beth was silent for a moment, then she said, "I want to help Noah go home."

Daryl rubbed his chin on her hair, "Where's home?"

"Virginia," she replied. "He and his dad were in a safe place, but they came to Atlanta to look for his dad's brother. These cops left his dad to die when they brought him here but he's still got family up there. Noah says the place was good. Had strong walls. I want to help him go home."

"OK," Daryl nodded, "We'll take him home, you and me."

Beth sniffed as Judith dozed off between them, "I don't want to go. I don't want to leave our family now that we're back together. But at the same time I don't want to be around them right now."

"So we go, take him home, get some space, then come back," Daryl shrugged.

*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*

When they came back downstairs, things were still tense, but quiet. Beth handed Judith over to Carl, then went to find Noah. Daryl went to Carol, then to Rick. Rick in turn talked to Carl and Michonne, before meeting with Licari. A few hours later, everyone gathered again.

Rick's eyes swept his group. His family no matter what. "We are at a crossroads here with a choice to make. One you have to make for yourselves. Option one, stay. Chris has agreed to let anyone who wants to stay and is agreeable to his conditions, to stay here at Grady."

Licari stepped forward, "Conditions are simple. We work together to keep this place going. Runs for fuel and supplies, maintenance and things like that. If you stay, you pitch in and help."

Rick nodded, "Option two, leave. Go anywhere, nowhere, just go. Chris has offered the use of a few vehicles to get us away from the city and some supplies to get started." He took a deep breath, "Option three, Richmond Virginia. Noah's home town which was a safe place about a year ago before he and his father left on a rescue attempt to Atlanta. Beth wants to help him get home and we're going to."

"We?" Glenn asked.

"Me, Daryl, Beth, Carl, Michonne, Judith obviously," Rick met Carol's gaze and she nodded, "And Carol. We're leaving in three days. I don't need an answer now. Just sometime before I drive out of here."

"You think splitting up is a good idea?" Maggie asked.

Rick looked at her coldly, "I think you have to do what's best for you and I have to do what's best for my family. Beth wants to help Noah, so we help Noah." He walked away.

The group split up in different directions. Sasha went off on her own, making her way up to the roof where they'd buried Tyreese under the flowers. She sat staring at the rough cross marking his gravesite for a long time.

Abraham walked into his room followed by Rosita, Eugene, and Tara. Rosita spoke first, "So Richmond?"

Abraham nodded, "Richmond."

"I still think we should try for DC," Eugene said. "I lied to you all, but my reasons were honest. DC is likely to have some infrastructure left. Government or scientists of some caliber. Plus there are bunkers up there. Didn't lie about that. Places designed specifically to survive all manner of end of the world situations. Food, water, supplies, and shelter."

Abraham nodded, "Well Richmond is between here and DC. So we go to Richmond."

"Agreed," Tara nodded. She gave a half smile, "Road trip."

"Shotgun," Eugene replied.

"No fair," Tara said, "We don't even know what kind of vehicle we're taking."

Rosita jerked her chin and Tara and Eugene left, still bickering slightly. "Richmond is a good idea. Might be a bit colder up there but we can handle it."

"When I hurt Eugene… were you afraid of me? Did you think I'd hurt you?" Abraham asked.

"No," Rosita replied. "That's not you."

Abraham sighed, "I want to tell you about my wife. My kids. Something happened that made them afraid of me and they ran. Then they… died."

*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*

Maggie knocked softly, "Beth, can I come in?"

"Yeah."

Maggie walked into the room that Beth and Daryl still shared. Beth was sitting on her bed writing in a journal propped on her knees. Her arm was back in the sling but she hadn't replaced the wrist brace. Maggie shoved down the instinct to fuss at her, "I wanted to say I'm sorry. I'm so sorry Beth. I shouldn't've said that to you. I wouldn't hurt you for anything."

"I know," Beth nodded. "And I know you're wrong. I am strong. I survived. I survived the prison falling, the weeks after, getting kidnapped, nearly getting raped, trying to escape and failing, getting the shit beat outta me and getting shot. I survived. And I'm gonna keep surviving because I am strong."

Maggie nodded, "I am sorry. Glenn and I want to come to Richmond with you, will that be OK?"

Beth nodded, "So long as you ease off me. I don't need you to be my mother, I need my sister back. I know how I'm feelin' and what I need. So please let me take care of myself. I'm not a kid anymore."

"OK. I'll try. Really I will," Maggie gave her a small smile and turned to leave, finding Daryl standing in the bathroom doorway.

"Sorry I got in your face," Daryl said.

Maggie nodded, "Thanks for gettin' in my face to protect her." She walked out.

"You really OK with them comin'," Daryl asked. Beth nodded.

*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*

Three days later the vehicles were prepped and ready to go. They had two minivans and a sedan provided by Licari.

Rick circled the minivan that would hold himself, Michonne, Beth, Judith, Daryl, Carol, and Carl. Abraham was planning to drive the other with Eugene, Rosita, Tara and Sasha along with a large portion of their supplies. Glenn, Maggie, Gabriel, and Noah would be in the sedan with the rest of the supplies in the trunk.

Rick smirked, "Never driven one of these, Lori and I swore we'd never get one."

Michonne chuckled, "Same here. I did go from a two seater sports car to a four door when my son was born but that was as far as I was willing to go."

Daryl stepped out of the back, "Thing's roomy at least. Asskicker's seat is wedged in there good, it ain't movin'."

"Thanks," Rick replied. "Where is everyone?"

*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*

"By the power vested in me by the Almighty God, I now pronounce you husband and wife," Gabriel recited.

Chris Licari turned, instinctively straightening his uniform. Teri Sheppard smiled up at him and they kissed. Glenn started the applause and Abraham whistled shrilly. Sheppard blushed and ducked her head. Licari's brothers in blue patted his back and shoved him slightly.

"Thanks," Licari offered his hand to Gabriel who shook it firmly. "I know it doesn't mean what it used to but figured this was our one shot at doing some part of it."

"I'm glad to have been of service," Gabriel replied. "Didn't expect to be performing any more ceremonies like this."

Sheppard smiled at him, "My guess is there will be more in your future." She glanced over to where Rick, Michonne, and Daryl had returned. Rick took Judith from Beth as Michonne let the baby squeeze her fingers. Daryl hovered nearby. Abraham kissed Rosita's cheek and nuzzled her neck.

Eugene looked at Tara and raised his eyebrows suggestively. Tara snorted, "No."

*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*

Miles passed under their tires. Putting a good distance between them and Atlanta before having to stop the first time. Rick drove with Michonne riding shotgun, literally and figuratively. Beth sat in the middle, entertaining Judith who wasn't thrilled about being confined. Carol, Carl, and Daryl sat in the back to start, then Daryl shifted to sprawl out on the floor next to the door while Carl and Carol spread out a little to play cards. When Judy got too fussy, hungry, or wet, they pulled over to rest and stretch before getting back on the road.

"We should start looking for a place to camp for the night," Michonne said.

"Yeah," Rick nodded.

"Rick can you pull over up here, by the sign?" Beth asked.

"Sure," Rick clicked on the turn signal to let the others behind them know he was stopping. "You OK Bethy?"

"Just need to do something," she replied.

Rick pulled over and Beth nudged Daryl, "Come on." He got up and opened the sliding door, climbed out and helped her down. She took his hand and led him along the road.

"What?" he asked.

She smiled and pointed at the sign, "Can't use that one anymore."

He grinned broadly. He took a deep breath, twined his fingers with hers, and then walked out of the state of Georgia into South Carolina.

Rick drove forward slowly to catch up to them and they climbed back into the van. "All done?"

"Yep," Daryl replied. "Thanks."

The caravan drove on.

*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*

_Be not so nervous, be not so frail  
Someone watches you, you will not fail  
Be not so nervous, be not so frail  
Be not so nervous, be not so frail_

_Be not so sorry for what you've done_  
_You must forget them now, it's done_  
_And when you wake up you will find you can run_  
_Be not so sorry for what you've done_

_Be not so fearful, be not so pale_  
_Someone watches you, you will not leave the rails_  
_Be not so fearful, be not so pale_  
_Be not so fearful, be not so pale_

_Be not so sorry for what you've done_  
_You must forget them now, it's done_  
_And when you wake up you will find you can run_  
_Be not so sorry for what you've done_

**A.C. Newman - Be Not So Fearful Lyrics by Fay, Bill** © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Downtown Music Publishing LLC


	3. Chapter 3

Breaking Free 3

All recognized characters, dialog, situations, and sequence of events belong to AMC, the writers, creators, and actors of The Walking Dead. This is simply my continued attempt to 'fix' season 5 by keeping Beth in it. Covers "What's Happened and What's Going On" and "Them". Not re-writing the whole episode, just the different parts.

*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*

"Carol, can you hear me?" Rick asked into the radio Licari had provided when they left Grady.

Carol snickered across the air, "Can you hear me now?" Carl's laugh could be heard in the background, followed by Judith giggling. Rick smiled at the sound. Judith had taken to laughing whenever Carl did. Sometimes now he did it just so she would. "Sorry, yes you are coming in clear," Carol replied, her voice still full of humor.

Rick glanced over to Daryl who was driving the sedan, "We're about five miles out, going to stash the car and go the rest of the way on foot."

"Be careful," Carol replied. "If you don't check in within the hour, we'll come running."

"OK, Mom."

"You're grounded." Over the still open mike, they heard Carl laugh heartily again before the connection clicked off.

Daryl snorted a laugh. Michonne and Glenn chuckled in the back seat. Noah was quiet between them, staring anxiously ahead. "We could just drive up to the gate, we don't need to sneak in."

"Yeah, we kinda do," Rick replied.

It had been a long haul through the Carolinas and half of Virginia. The vehicles had held up but were low on fuel. They had managed to salvage some just across the state line into South Carolina and split it between the three vehicles. What would have taken less than half a day before, took them over two weeks to travel. Massive traffic snarls that forced them to backtrack and reroute. Unexpected weather changes that cost them two days stranded in a motel along the highway. It had been out of the weather on the relative safety of the second floor, but dusty, damp, and cold. A few days later they took shelter in a small town's Civil War museum located in an historic mansion to wait out the colds that most of them came down with. They were all fully recovered now but the delay had cost them supplies.

But Rick's mind was filled with some good memories of the journey. Having to explain to Carl why they were all calling it a no-tell rather than motel. And the reason for an hourly rate in the office. Michonne's joy at finding a book in one room that had been a brand new release in a series she enjoyed. Abraham manhandling Eugene out of the room he was sharing with Rosita and threatening him at the same time he was making sure he hadn't hurt the man.

Daryl insisting he wasn't sick even as he coughed his head off. Discovering Carol was just as bad a patient as Rick himself. Michonne threatened repeatedly to sedate both of them to keep them in bed and quiet. They had all been worried about Daryl and Carol having a respiratory illness so soon after chest injuries but both made it through fine.

Rick's mind continued to sift through the memories. Beth pacing the floor with Judith singing softly as the baby sniffled and whined. Maggie fussing at Beth to rest, since she too was sick, and Beth promptly handing her the sick, fretful baby who didn't want anyone but Beth. Maggie lasted a half hour before admitting defeat and handing her back.

Rick worried a little about Judith's new clinginess with Beth, but Carol had gently explained her theory. "Judith bonded with Beth right from the start. I wasn't there and face it you weren't handling things all that well. Beth has been with her all along. You know she was looking for Judy when the prison fell, right? That was the first time Judith was separated from Beth and it wasn't all that great you know. Tyreese took wonderful care of her, but we were moving, keeping her strapped to one of us most of the time. As soon as she gets back to Beth, she's able to crawl around and play. There's more food and a crib to sleep in, sort of. As far as she's concerned, life's good again. It's not surprising she's holding onto Beth as tight as she can."

"Lori stayed home with Carl," Rick had replied. "I would come home and he'd be all excited to see me. We'd play and goof off. But when bedtime rolled around, he wanted his Mom. Same if he didn't feel good, only Mom would do."

He watched Beth settle into an antique rocker with Judith wrapped in an antique quilt, rocking gently until the baby fell asleep. She sat there all night, falling asleep sitting up so the baby was more comfortable. Within a few days, they were all feeling better and moved on from the mansion. They obviously couldn't take that rocker, but the quilt went with them, covering Judith in her car seat as she played with an old handmade ragdoll from the museum display, chattering to 'Beh' and 'Da-Wuh' who was on the minivan floor again. She sometimes called to 'Cuh', 'Cuh-Wuh', 'Mee', or Dada but her main focus was Beth.

*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*

They moved into a police substation not far from Noah's community. The stand-alone building had been reinforced for a siege, then abandoned. There were some cans of fruit and a little water, but nothing else of use. Still it was a safe shelter for the others to wait as Rick, Daryl, Glenn, and Michonne took Noah home.

Daryl drove off the road into a grouping of abandoned cars. They camouflaged it with dirt and set off to walk the rest of the way. Moving through the woods, they found an obstacle course of ropes. But no one was on watch and as Glenn climbed up and peeked over, the silence was deafening.

"Carol… it's gone," Rick relayed as they surveyed the bodies inside the walls.

"Understood," Carol replied softly.

"We should see if there's anything we can salvage," Glenn said. Rick nodded.

Noah had been standing in place, turning around and around to take it all in. To resolve his memories of this place with the reality of the now. Suddenly he took off running.

"NOAH!" Michonne called.

"I'll go with him," Daryl said. "He's goin' home."

"They're gone," Glenn said.

Daryl shrugged, "He's gotta see for himself." He slid his crossbow to his back and strode after the young man.

Noah went straight to a house and stood in the yard for a long moment, Daryl stood at his side, waiting. "I don't want to go in. I don't want to know. If I don't see it, I can imagine they're fine somewhere." He let out a sob. "I don't want to know, but I have to know."

"Want me to look?"

Noah took a deep breath, "No. I'll go."

Daryl nodded, "We'll go."

"Yeah. You promised Beth to keep an eye on me."

"Ain't the only reason."

Daryl went in first. The first body was on the floor. Noah's mother. Noah covered her with a blanket from the couch. "I'm sorry Mom. So sorry."

They walked upstairs, finding another body on a bed and a walker trapped in a room. Noah blinked rapidly but nodded as Daryl moved to open the door. Noah's brother staggered out of the room and Noah slammed his knife through his skull. Noah dropped down next to the body and wept.

*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*

Noah stood silently watching the flames as they consumed the bodies of his family. Rick walked up, glaring at Daryl, "We coulda buried them," he whispered harshly.

"My mom always wanted to be cremated," Noah replied hoarsely. "Made Dad promise to scatter her ashes in the garden."

They stood watching until the fire burned down to embers and ash, then spread the remains in the garden, covering them over with a thin layer of dirt to be sure the flames were extinguished. They gathered what they could carry and silently made their way to the gates. They were forced to fight through a handful of walkers attracted to the smell of the fire, but did so easily enough. They took the road straight out rather than fight their way through the woods and obstacle course again.

Daryl stopped to look at the grandfather clock in the middle of the road. "What?" Rick asked.

"Beth 'n me went into a golf course place, lookin' for a drink. Clock like this there, started chimin' after I stood it up," he shrugged, "Just rememberin'."

"A drink?" Michonne smirked, "You took Beth to get drunk at a golf course?"

"Nah," Daryl admitted, "At that moonshine shack you 'n me found."

"You gave Beth moonshine?" Rick asked in a low, slightly dangerous tone. "Moonshine."

"You pissed?"

Rick sighed, "Part of me. Father part I guess." He paused for a second, "Rest of me is wondering what she was like drunk."

"OK. Kinda playful. Then real maudlin," he snickered with the memory, "Then arsonistic."

"Arsonistic?" Glenn repeated. "That's not a word."

"She convinced me to burn the place down, what would you call it?"

Glenn chuckled, "Don't know what I'd call her, but I'd call you a pushover. She convinced you to burn it down?!"

"I was drunk."

"I hope so."

*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*

Back in town, they secured themselves back in the abandoned police station. Noah was in a daze. He carried the box they gave him, walked where they sent him, but didn't seem to register any of it. Carol directed him to put the box down and rubbed his back gently. He went over to the small office and sank down onto the beat up couch inside.

Beth followed and shut the door, "I'm so sorry Noah."

"I had to put down my brother," Noah began to weep. "I don't even know which one it was. They were identical. Physically I could never tell them apart. They were complete opposites personality wise so all I had to do was get them to talk. Or smile, it was weird how different their smiles were. But just looking… I don't know who it was."

Beth stroked his back, "Tell me about them."

Daryl stood at the office door listening. He glanced up to see Carol and Rick watching him. He walked over, "He's OK. Talkin' to Beth," he sighed heavily, "Where are we goin' from here?"

"We have an idea on that," Abraham answered. "You guys got a minute?"

They gathered in the open squad room and Eugene took a deep breath, "We should continue on to DC."

"But you lied," Carl reminded.

"About me, not about DC," Eugene replied. "There *are* places there, bunkers built specifically for survival of all sorts of end of the world situations. Shelter, food, water, supplies."

"I think I saw a story about one of those," Tara said. "It's under a hotel."

Eugene nodded, "The Greenbrier. That's in West Virginia and had been decommissioned after the story of its existence went public. But there are others. And I have a pretty good idea where at least two are near DC."

"How?" Rick asked.

"Hobby. I researched the government. Spent my nights on the internet looking into conspiracies."

"And your days?" Rosita asked directly. "Since we know they weren't spent in a lab."

"They were, actually," Eugene admitted. "Just one in a high school. I taught science to kids in a school just outside Houston. Go Diamondbacks!" His grin quickly faded. "The bunkers are there. Stocked and ready. If there's anyone still in charge, they'd be in them. If not, the supplies will be. There are bunkers further west in case of nuclear holocaust. But the ones in DC were intended to keep the president and government safe while keeping the seat in the capital. They're there. I can get us there, I swear it."

Michonne looked at Rick and nodded. So did Carol. Rick took a deep breath, "OK. DC."

*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*

The sedan broke down two days later. They moved the supplies over, syphoned the gas, and squeezed everyone into the two minivans. A day later, one of the minivans ran out of gas completely. They debated splitting the remaining gas but decided to squeeze everyone into the remaining minivan. Abraham was driving with Tara and Rosita squeezed into the front seat. Beth was between Carl and Michonne in the middle seat with Judith strapped to her chest with a soft carrier wrap found in a baby store near the police substation. Rick and Daryl were squeezed in at their feet. Carol, Maggie, Sasha, and Noah were on the back seat with Gabriel and Eugene on the floor back there. The loaded down, sputtering minivan got them another thirty miles closer to DC before gasping its last.

"Last can," Carol said as she handed the small, single serving size of pears to Rick.

Beth held Judith as Rick carefully fed her spoonsful of the pears. Carl helped keep Judy from grabbing the spoon so they got every bite into her. Then Rick poured the juice from the can into a bottle and diluted it with water. Beth tucked it into a pocket on the carrier.

"You got her?" Rick asked. Beth nodded. "Let us know if you need a break, OK?" Beth nodded again as Daryl adjusted the pack and crossbow on his back a few feet away. Judith yawned widely and snuggled against Beth's chest to fall asleep, resting her cheek against Beth's skin above the top she wore.

They started walking. Daryl was at Beth's side with Carol behind him. The others surrounded them, automatically putting Beth and the baby in the center of the group. Glenn and Maggie naturally fell in step side by side, so did Abraham, Rosita, and Eugene. Rick took point, with Michonne and Carl flanking him. Tara moved between Glenn and Eugene, still finding her place. Sasha, Noah, and Gabriel brought up the rear, silently plodding along.

Two days later they were still trudging along. Two nights in the open, running dangerously low on water. What little food they salvaged from abandoned cars was fed to the baby. The woods were dry and bare of all animal life. Rick was carrying Judith, who babbled happily. Daryl glanced over, "She's hungry."

"She'll be OK," Rick replied. He glanced back, everyone looked hot and exhausted.

Daryl handed over the rifle he carried, "Gonna go hunt." He walked to Beth, "Stay here, close to Rick, OK?" She nodded, "Gonna go find some food."

"I'll come with," Carol said.

"Nah, I'm good," Daryl replied.

"Gonna stop me?" she teased and with a wink to Beth she followed him into the woods.

Daryl glanced back to check that Beth was still with Rick. Glenn handed her a bottle of water and she held it to Judith's mouth to give her some, then handed it to Tara. Daryl scowled, then led Carol into the woods. They walked silently some distance in without seeing anything remotely edible. Daryl kicked at the ground, scowling at the dust that rose up.

"She's going to be OK," Carol said. "We all are."

"She ain't had water in two days. I ain't seen her drink. Didn't realize 'til I saw her take the bottle of water 'n give it to Asskicker." He sighed heavily. "I never shoulda let her do this. Coulda been safe at Grady."

Carol laughed, "If this ordeal has taught us anything, it's that no one LETS Beth do anything." She made him stop and face her. "And that she is strong enough to survive anything. When we get back to the group, we'll give her water. If she's holding Judith, I'll ask to take her. I haven't carried her yet today. She'll be OK. We all will. And Daryl, it's OK… that you have feelings for her. It's good. You two… balance each other. She's brought light into you that was never there before. And you gave her a reason to keep going."

Daryl huffed out a breath, "It ain't right. She's too young, too sweet and perfect. It ain't right. She's an angel who got stuck walkin' with us and I'm… nothin'."

"You're not nothing. I told you once a long time ago, you are as good as Rick. Maybe better. You never gave up on her. Never stopped thinking and worrying. She told me that you ran up to her at the prison, you coulda ran the other way, saved yourself. Instead you saved her, took her with you. You chose to walk alongside her so you cannot walk away from her now. Not every angel is a cherub you know. Most of them are God's warriors, sent out into battle against demons, returning to God's glory with blood drenched hands clutching a sword. That's what kind of angel you are." She made him bend down so she could kiss his forehead.

He scowled at her, "You're actin' weird."

She smiled because she could almost see his mind working over what she'd said. "Must be the heat."

*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*

The plan to dump the herd of walkers following them into the stream went to shit when Sasha broke rank and started attacking. Daryl and Carol arrived in time to help. As the rest of the group dealt with Sasha, Daryl walked straight to where Beth was holding Judith. Carl was drinking from one of their last bottles of water. When he was done, he offered it to Daryl. Daryl took it to Beth.

"Drink," he whispered firmly. She frowned at him but took the bottle. As he expected, she started to give it to Judith. "No," he snapped. "You drink." She glowered but took in a mouthful. "Swallow it."

She did, then hissed, "What is wrong with you?"

"You goin' without for her is honorable, but you dyin' ain't acceptable," he growled. "From now on you drink every time she does, you hear me?"

"I will if you will," she growled right back.

Daryl frowned but took a small drink of the water, held it in his mouth for a moment, then swallowed. He gave the bottle back to her and walked away. Carol sighed but smiled at Beth, "He's just worried, sweetheart."

Beth nodded, "I know."

"All his bluster and grouch is just because he's scared."

Beth smiled sweetly, "I know."

Carol rolled her eyes, "God, of course you do, you probably know better than anyone. Sorry," she kissed Beth's forehead like she'd done Daryl's.

"Everything OK?" Rick asked as the group joined them.

"Fine," Carol nodded, "Just getting some water into Beth." Rick scowled as he realized what she was saying.

*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*

Beth walked closer to Maggie and Glenn at the rear of the car. Glenn saw her too late, "Beth don't look…"

Her eyes went wide as she saw the body in the trunk. Images flashed into her mind, memories buried until now. Gorman. His fist slamming into her cheek. The world spinning. Falling into the trunk of the car, the lid closing, sealing her into the dark. Closing her eyes. Hearing Daryl scream her name as she bounced around the trunk. Sinking into the darkness.

"Beth! You need to breathe for me," Maggie was demanding.

Beth could hear herself gasping but felt like she wasn't getting any air. A little of the precious water was poured into a handkerchief to bathe her face and she looked up into Carol's worried face. "They… locked me… in the… trunk…"

She heard Abraham curse violently. Judith was crying. Everyone else was shuffling around her which only made her more self-conscious. Then Daryl was shoving through. "BETH?"

She held up her arms and he dropped to gather her to him. She wasn't hydrated enough to produce tears, but she still shuddered and sobbed. Carol urged everyone to give them some space as Maggie and Daryl soothed her. Carol waited a moment, then took her face in her hands, "Beth honey you've got to calm down. You got out of that trunk. You're here." Beth calmed as she spoke. "Deep breaths for us. Slow and deep. That's it."

"Sorry," Beth whispered.

Maggie kissed her head as Daryl let her go. He stood up and caught sight of the body in the trunk. He froze, feeling his heart seize in his chest. Carol walked over and slowly closed the trunk lid.

*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*

They decided to rest a while by the side of the road. Carl and Rick sat back to back, leaning on each other. Beth sat opposite Carl as Judith chattered to her playing with her ragdoll. Daryl sat behind her, bracing her back with his shoulder. When the dogs appeared out of the brush, he instinctively pulled his knife and moved to block her.

Beth took the baby as they began gathering twigs to burn and cook. Carl sharpened the skewers to cook the meat. Daryl watched as Beth chewed up the meat to feed to the baby. "You need to eat some too."

"I am," Beth replied even as she put more into Judith's wide open mouth.

"Beth give her to me," Rick commanded. Beth just looked at him. "Beth. Give me my daughter." Judith went willingly to him. "Now eat." Carl handed her a piece of meat and she consumed it quietly. Judith popped open her mouth like a baby bird and Rick fed her chewed up meat. Daryl cut off another slab of meat and cut it into pieces for Rick, Carl, and Beth. He swallowed some then gave some to Judith. She squished it between her fingers with a giggle then fed herself.

*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*

Daryl stood watch as Beth squatted behind a tree. She emerged so quietly that she was almost on him before he heard her breathing. "OK?"

"Yeah. You?"

"Yeah. Sorry I was so gruff earlier."

"I know," she soothed. "I understand, Daryl."

He turned away and walked off, "I don't." She sighed and followed him. He was standing staring at an old barn. She glanced around but the only sign of a house was a crumbling chimney. "I don't want to feel this way," he said. "For you. It ain't right. You're too… good and perfect and sweet. And I'm…"

"Strong and honorable and good and smart. I don't want you to feel this way either. You said… you'd die…" her voice broke and she cleared her throat, "You'd die if anythin' happened to me. I don't want that. You gotta keep goin'. Be there for the others. Be alive for you. You gotta survive Daryl. You just gotta."

He stepped to stand in front of her, eye to eye with her. "I will if you will. We keep goin' together." She nodded. "Means you gotta eat and drink, OK?"

"I will if you will," she replied.

He pressed his forehead to hers and stared into her eyes. "I ain't never eaten dog before."

"Me neither, you drink," she smiled. "I ain't never been shot before," she slipped into his speech pattern.

"Me neither. I ain't never been to DC." He pulled away and twined his fingers with hers to lead her back to the group waiting on the road.

"That's cheatin' you already used the 'never been outta Georgia' one."

"Oh. I ain't never chased after a car for two days before."

She blinked fiercely, "Me neither. I ain't never been thrown in a car trunk before."

"I have. Pissed off Merle one day. Threw me in to drive home."

"Oh. Still your turn."

He paused, hearing the murmur of the others just ahead. "I ain't never felt like this before."

"Me neither."

*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*

They stared at the bottled water. Judith whined and reached for Beth who took her from Carl. When the rain began to fall, Beth cupped her hand to direct water into Judith's mouth as she tilted her head back to drink what fell. Carl laughed as he held his hat over Judith's head to shelter her as much as he could. He playful flicked water into Beth's already wet face and she laughed. Judith went from fussing to laughing at the two of them.

Then the storm intensified. "We found a barn!" Daryl yelled above the thunder.

*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*

Beth and Carl lay on the antique quilt with Judith between them. Daryl sat close behind her, watching over her as she slept. He slipped off his jacket and vest and draped it over the three of them, then stood up. Rick looked at him. "Need to take a piss," Daryl whispered.

"Good."

"Good?"

"Means you're finally hydrated too."

Daryl walked to the door. He started to lift the bolt, then froze, the image of the funeral home door slamming into him. He peeked outside and in a bright flash of lightening he saw the herd. He caught the doors just as the first one slammed into it. "NEED SOME HELP HERE!"

The others leapt to help him. Carl awoke as Beth scrambled to her feet. He got up and handed Judith to her. "You stay here! Take care of her!" He ran to help.

The wind picked up, howling louder than a freight train. The air felt like it was being sucked out of the barn and suddenly the walkers were gone from the door. They backed away.

"Get down!" Rick shouted. He and Daryl ran back to where Beth stood with Judith and tucked her down between them. Michonne and Carl joined them, huddling down together.

*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*

The sun rose over the intact barn. Daryl stirred, finding himself stretched out on the quilt spooned behind Beth. Judith was in her arms, awake but content. Rick was facing her, hand resting on Judith's tummy. Behind him were Carl and Michonne.

Carol winked at him as she walked by with Sasha, Maggie, and Noah.

*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*

Carol led the other three out to overlook the sunrise. "I need to talk to you three for a minute. I just need you to listen. OK? Just listen." She took a deep breath. "Maggie. I am sorry I've been so antagonistic towards you. I was furious that you'd given up on Beth. That you'd never seen her strength. Because I did the same thing with Sophia. When she went missing, I think I knew she was dead as soon as it happened. I gave up and began grieving long before we found her. I never looked for her after the first day. I'll never fully forgive myself for it. If I had expected her to be strong, to survive, maybe she would have. You are doing better with Beth now. Being her sister instead of her mother. It's good." Maggie's eyes filled with tears as she nodded. "She's going to be OK."

"Noah," Carol sighed. "I can't imagine what you are going through. And it is OK to grieve. But you need to keep going. You need to snap out of this daze or you're going to get yourself killed."

Carol looked to Sasha, "Tyreese knew. About Karen and David. I told him. He forgave me. I didn't ask him to but he did. He died protecting Beth and Judith and Daryl. A hero. He would be furious if you died because you were stupid. Worse, if you got someone else killed by being reckless." Sasha ducked her head, chastised.

Carol took a deep cleansing breath of the rain washed air, "We're here. We're alive. And we are going to keep surviving. Together. Breathe that air in. Clean and fresh. We've got water, enough to last until we get to DC. We are going to get through this." She smiled as the sun began to peek above the horizon. "It's a brand new day. Looks like it's going to be a beautiful one."

Maggie smiled, "Beth and I used to sneak out the morning of Summer Solstice every year to watch the sunrise. Daddy and Annette knew we did it, but we still pretended to sneak out. Beth's the early riser, I hated getting up. Haven't seen a sunrise in a very long time."

Sasha smiled, "Tyreese and I used to sneak out sometimes. Go to a midnight movie. He took me to bookstores when they had those big releases at midnight. Our parents never found out."

Noah chuckled, "I would try to sneak out with my twin brothers but they would make too much noise, laughing and shushing each other or knocking stuff over then yelling at each other. My dad would toss one of them over each shoulder and toss them back into their room. It was always just enough of a distraction for me to get out. I was usually going stargazing. Just before the end, we did get all the way out and up to the hill. Watched a meteor shower for hours until the twins got tired. We got all the way back inside and I tripped on some toy they'd left out. Little shits ran and left me for Dad to find."

The sun rose completely, casting its warm rays over them. They sat together and watched the light fill the world. "New day. New start from here." Carol said. "We survive. We are going to live. That's the hard part. Living."

"Hello," a strange voice greeted. "Hi." The man stepped into view with his hands raised. "I'm Aaron. I have good news."

*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*


	4. Chapter 4

**Breaking Free 4**

All recognized characters, dialog, situations, and sequence of events belong to AMC, the writers, creators, and actors of The Walking Dead. This is simply my continued attempt to 'fix' season 5 by keeping Beth in it. Covers "The Distance" and "Remember". **Still not re-writing the whole episode, just the different parts to work Beth in. Spoilers exist but assumes you've seen the episodes.**

Song is cited at the end – Safe by Katie Armiger – a song she's dedicated to all first responders, for obvious reasons.

I've added "Suzanne" and "Joseph" as two residents of the town. Suzanne's name was picked out of thin air, Joseph should be obvious. Random thought – two bad guys recently: Mary and Joseph.

*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*

Michonne, Glenn, Maggie, Abraham, and Rosita left to go check Aaron's story while the others scattered into the woods to keep watch. With one last look to Beth, Daryl stepped out of the barn. Aaron was tied to a center post watching Beth as she sat and played with the baby. Rick stepped into his line of sight and glared fiercely.

"Sorry," Aaron smiled, "It's been a very long time since I've seen a baby. There are kids in our camp, but none that young. Still Judith would have kids to play with. It would be good for her," He lowered his voice so that only Rick could hear him, "And there are some nice young men there, about Beth's age. Smart, decent, honest young men. It could be good for her too." Rick scowled at him and turned away. "Sorry if I overstepped, I just thought a girl her age… Or is she spoken for?"

Rick snorted, "Yeah. She's 'spoken for' so keep your eyes and thoughts to yourself."

Aaron blinked rapidly then chuckled, "Oh no… not me… God no. Not that she's not beautiful and… uhm. Never mind."

*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*

Beth paced the floor trying to soothe Judith as Rick crushed up acorns with the butt of his gun. "Rick she can't eat them, they'll make her sick."

"Well what do you suggest Beth?" Rick snapped. "She's hungry and there's nothing else! I checked that back room and everywhere else. There is nothing here."

"You saw the applesauce in my pack," Aaron said.

He and Rick debated back and forth until Aaron finally ate a spoonful of the applesauce. Rick licked the spoon clean, tasting the sweetness for himself then nodded to Beth. She immediately took the spoon and began feeding Judith. It took a few minutes for Judith to calm down and eat, but soon she was giggling and cooing at Beth. Opening her mouth wide for the sweet pureed fruit.

"There's honey too," Aaron said. "We have someone who used to work with bees and knows how to get it."

Beth shook her head, "You can't give a baby honey."

"Oh," Aaron said. "I did not know that. You're very good with her."

"She's taken good care of her since she was born and my wife died," Rick admitted. "I don't say it enough, but I am grateful every day." Beth smiled at him then scooped more applesauce into Judith, deftly avoiding the baby's hands as she tried to grab the spoon. "Aren't we Judy?"

"Beh!"

*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*

Beth wrinkled her nose as she cleaned up Judith. "Think you had too much fruit today, kiddo." She wiped her using strips from the clothes they found in the back room of the barn and some water. Judith laughed at her expression. "Oh yeah? That's funny?"

"She OK?" Daryl asked.

"She's fine. Just about clean," Beth replied. "Can you hand me a diaper?" Daryl walked over and gave her one from the dwindling supply. "Thanks." He watched as she diapered the baby and dressed her in clean clothes. Daryl helped her strap on the baby carrier and slip Judith into it. Judith yawned and snuggled against Beth.

Daryl stroked the baby's fine hair and smiled. "You ready?" he asked.

Beth nodded and he took her hand to lead her out to where the others were gathered near the RV. Rick cupped Judith's head and kissed her, then kissed Beth's temple. Daryl helped Beth climb into the RV where Abraham was already in the driver's seat. Everyone else had already claimed seats as Rick, Michonne, Glenn, and Aaron got into the car. Daryl led Beth back to the back bed and shook out the quilt. Beth sat with her back propped against the wall and Daryl wrapped her and Judith in the quilt then sat next to her so he could watch out the rear window.

"You think this is real? That this is a safe place?" she whispered.

Daryl shrugged, "Dunno. If it ain't, we'll find one somewhere. Get some rest."

*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*

They were waiting for sunrise to get back on the road. Judith had slept through the entire traumatic escape and run, but was now awake and playful. Beth had her in a side room so that they didn't wake anyone else. "Alexandria," Beth whispered to Judith. "We're going to Alexandria. Did you know that?" Judith babbled back a long string of sounds. "It's a big city that's real close to Washington DC."

"Hi," Maggie whispered from the doorway. "You OK?"

"We're fine," Beth replied. "Just need to get her back on her sleep schedule." Judith chortled as she bobbed and weaved standing on Beth's thighs. "She seems to have forgotten night time is for sleeping."

Maggie smiled as she watched Beth with the baby. "I love you, Beth."

Beth smiled, "I love you too, Maggie."

*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*

They rolled up to the gate at Alexandria. Rick drove with Michonne next to him. Beth and Carl were in the back seat with Judith. When Rick turned off the engine, they could hear the laughter of children at play. Still as they emerged from the vehicles, Rick had his gun in his hand. Daryl walked over to Carl and Beth, keeping close as the gates opened and they walked inside.

*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*

Deanna let Carl and Judith back out of the office after their interview, to where Rick, Daryl, Beth, and Michonne waited. Deanna smiled, "Beth? Can you come talk to me for a few minutes?"

Beth glanced to Rick, he nodded and smiled at her. She nodded to Deanna and walked across the room. Daryl followed automatically, still clutching the possum in one hand. Deanna gaped at him as he went with Beth into the office. Rick shrugged. Deanna sighed and followed them inside and shut the door.

"I've been filming these meetings," Deanna indicated the camera. "Beth, is that alright?"

Beth offered a quick smile, "Yes, ma'am."

Deanna indicated the chair, "Please. Daryl do you want to sit?"

"Nah," Daryl replied as he studied the bookshelves. "I'm fine. Talk to Beth."

"OK," Deanna took her seat and watched Beth and Daryl for a moment. They didn't look at each other, rather Beth studied the room as Daryl paced the shelves, but she sensed that they knew exactly where the other one was. "So Beth… how old are you?"

"Eighteen."

"So you were sixteen when all this started?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"That can't have been easy."

Beth just gave her another awkward smile.

"You look like you've had a rough time recently."

Beth's hand went subconsciously to the cuts on her cheek. The scars were fading but still visible. Deanna saw Daryl's glare but didn't acknowledge it. Beth swallowed hard, "Yes ma'am. I met up with some not so nice people a little while ago."

"That is unfortunate," Deanna replied gently. "We have a very gifted surgeon here, perhaps…"

"A surgeon?" Daryl walked behind Beth. "She got shot in the shoulder. Doc who patched her up said he couldn't help the nerve damage to her hand. You think this surgeon could?"

"Daryl," Beth whispered.

"I will certainly ask him to examine you, Beth," Deanna said. "We'll do everything we can to help you get better." Beth rubbed her left pinky with her thumb, staring intently. Deanna looked back to Daryl who was back looking at the books. "Daryl you are more than welcome to borrow any book you'd like to read."

"I read them already."

Deanna couldn't cover her shock, "All of them?"

"Nah. None of these law books. But all the rest." He pulled one down from the shelf and walked it over to Beth who took it with a smile. "This one'd be good to read to Asskicker."

Beth turned it so Deanna and the camera could read the title. "Winnie the Pooh," Deanna smiled, "That was my sons' favorite when they were little. Of course you can borrow it for… I'm sorry did you say Asskicker?"

Beth gave her the first genuine smile Deanna had seen, "Judith. It's what he called her when she was born."

"Ah. So Beth, tell me more about yourself. You grew up in Georgia?"

"Yes, ma'am, on a farm. My Daddy's… was… a veterinarian. We had horses and cattle and chickens that we raised."

"And what were your interests? Your goals?"

Beth blinked, "I don't understand the question."

"What did you want to study? To be when you grew up? See, Beth, I assign people's jobs here in Alexandria. Everyone has to work to keep this place going. So I need to know where to put you." She didn't know why, but Deanna realized immediately that she'd said something wrong.

Beth felt like all the air had been sucked out of the room. She felt shivers deep in her core and the room spun around her as the panic rose.

Daryl responded instantly, leaping in front of Beth, "You got no right to demand she work for you! I hunt. I provide. You got shit that needs doin', you tell me!" he snarled at Deanna.

Rick shoved open the door, attracted by Daryl's raised voice. "Daryl?" Daryl just glared at him. "What's wrong?"

"I'm sorry Beth, I didn't mean to upset you," Deanna said in a soothing tone, using all of her political experience so that her fear of the girl's defender wasn't too apparent.

"Can we be done now?" Beth asked shakily. "I want to be done now." Daryl reached his hand back and she clutched it to pull herself to her feet behind him.

"Of course," Deanna nodded.

"What did you say to her?" Carl demanded. The nice, polite young man gone as he scowled at her.

Deanna sighed, "I told them as I did you Rick, everyone contributes here."

"I contribute," Daryl snapped as he urged Beth out ahead of him. "I hunt. I provide. You got no right to say she's gotta do nothin'! She don't owe you a damn thing."

Rick sighed heavily with a glance to Michonne. Carl simply handed Judith to Beth, "Beth takes care of Judith. She's like her mom. It's what she's always done. Being a mom is the most important job there is, and she's good at it."

Judith whined as she sensed Beth's discomfort. Beth swayed and rubbed her back, Judith clutched at her. "Beh."

"I am sorry," Deanna said. "Rick, Aaron is waiting to show you to your house, if you, Carl, Daryl, and Beth will step outside, he'll take the group to where you can leave your guns, then he'll take you to the house, OK. Michonne?" she gestured to the office.

Michonne handed her guns to Rick then rubbed Beth's back gently as she passed to go into the office. Deanna shut the door, "Well that could've gone better."

Michonne sighed as she took the seat Deanna indicated, "Beth… was abducted not long ago. People in Atlanta who kidnapped people they thought they could control. Forced them work to pay off debt for food, water, shelter, protection. Conditions were… horrific. Violence and sexual assault seemed common."

"Oh that poor girl," Deanna said, covering her mouth with her hand.

"She was beaten several times, but we got to her before anyone could… She knew it was happening. Knew it was only a matter of time before one of them…" Michonne sighed and blinked rapidly. "She and Daryl were both shot during the rescue. They're OK but they're still healing. Daryl is obviously… highly protective."

"Obviously," Deanna sighed, "And I tell her she has to work for me." She shook her head. "And that place? In Atlanta?"

"Different now, I guess. The worst of the people, the woman in charge, are dead. New people took over. Got our people healed enough to travel."

"You could've stayed then, I assume?"

Michonne stared at her steadily, "No we couldn't. Too many bad memories. Plus the ones in charge now, they may not have participated in the worst of the torture, but they were still there. Letting things like that happen is just as bad as doing them. There's no way we would've stayed there, with Beth? With Carl and Judith? No way." She took a deep breath, "Best thing work wise is to consider Beth a stay-at-home mom. At least for a while. The rest of us… we're really just babysitters with Judith. I care about her, but am more than happy to hand her back to Beth for all the important stuff."

Deanna smiled, "Understood. Now, let's talk about you."

*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*

They stood in front of two large, beautiful houses after having given up their guns. Daryl still had his crossbow and they all still had their knives.

As they climbed the steps to the house Aaron had suggested, a woman walked up to them carrying a pastel covered bag covered with animals. "Hi, I'm Suzanne," She greeted with a bright smile, "Oh look at that sweet little darling," she beamed at Judith. "I don't want to get in your way, but I thought you might need a few things for her." She offered the bag and Rick accepted it. "Just some diapers, a few clothes, wipes, things like that. When my family and I moved in, we packed up all of the baby stuff in our house and stored it. My son, Joseph, will bring the crib by later. Whenever you're ready, we'll get the rest out of storage for you. Welcome to Alexandria."

Rick blinked at the rapid fire speech, "Uh… thanks." Beth smiled her thanks as Suzanne walked away with a wave.

They went inside, Beth stayed in the kitchen as Rick, Carl, and Daryl cleared the house. As soon as they realized there was running water, they scattered to the bathrooms.

*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*

Beth knelt next to the tub holding the slippery baby who was gleefully splashing in the warm water. Daryl sat on the toilet lid watching them. The diaper bag provided by Suzanne held baby wash and baby shampoo, both of which Beth was using to bathe Judith.

"Beh!" Judith squealed in delight as she pounded the bottle of wash against the side of the tub.

Beth laughed as the water splashed up on her shirt, "I shoulda just climbed in there with her." Daryl let out a huff of air and cleared his throat. Beth peeked back at him and blushed. She held tight to the baby with one hand and scooped water with the other to rinse her hair. Daryl stood up and grabbed a decorative cup from the sink and handed it to her. "Thanks," she smiled as she used the cup to rinse the soap and shampoo from Judy.

Beth lifted Judith who fussed as she left the water. Daryl wrapped her in a fluffy towel and Beth took her back, rocking slightly to soothe her. Daryl pulled the plug to let the water drain. Beth dried Judith then laid her on the counter to powder, diaper, and dress her in a warm, soft long sleeve onesie and jumper. "Rich people baby clothes, Jude," she smirked.

Carl peeked in the doorway. He was clean and his hair still wet. "Hey."

"Hey," Beth replied, "Can you take her? I want a shower too."

"Sure," Carl said. "Come on Judy, come see the fancy toys these people had."

Daryl walked out of the bathroom and sank to the hall floor. He heard Carl talking to Judy as they explored the bedrooms and the shower turn on for Beth. Then there was a knock at the door. Daryl leapt to his feet. Rick came out of the master, clad in only a pair of jeans and freshly shaved. Carl came out of the room he was exploring.

"Stay up here with Beth and Judy," Rick ordered Carl. He went down the stairs followed by Daryl. Daryl waited in the hall as Rick went to the door.

Carl was standing in front of the bathroom door when Daryl came back up, "Who is it?"

"Neighbor," Daryl replied. "Brought food."

"Oh," Carl nodded and took Judith into another bedroom to look around.

*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*

Beth stood under the water just letting it pour over her face. She shampooed and rinsed, then shampooed again. Scrubbed down three times with the new bar of soap. With a regretful sigh, she shut of the water and climbed out to dry off.

"Beth?" Daryl knocked gently.

"I'm not dressed yet," she replied.

"I know. Carl found some clothes for yah. Think they'll fit."

She opened the door wrapped in a towel and peeked at him, "Thanks." She accepted the bundle of clothing. "Everythin' OK?"

Daryl nodded, averting his eyes, "Neighbor stopped by and brought food from the pantry."

"Oh. Good."

"Get dressed," he grumbled and shut the door firmly. He walked over to the master bedroom and went into the bathroom. He shut the door and hopped into the shower long enough to rinse the worst of the grime off. He toweled off quickly and dressed in the relatively clean clothes from his pack. They'd managed to wash clothes at the police station so they weren't in too bad a condition.

*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*

Jessie pulled the wrap off of Rick's shoulders, "Tah-Da!" She handed him a mirror as Beth entered carrying Judith. "Hello! You must be Beth, I'm Jessie." Beth now wore dark blue jeans and a flower print shirt under a thin white sweater.

"Hello," Beth smiled but her eyes were on Rick. "Wow."

Rick smirked at her, "You clean up pretty good too, Bethy."

"Well, I'll let you all get settled," Jessie gathered her things together and Rick let her out, shutting the door behind her.

"I'd forgotten what you looked like under all that," Beth said as Rick glanced at his reflection in the bottom of a pot. "You look younger."

"So I looked old?"

"A little," Beth teased.

Judith watched Rick with a confused expression. When he approached, she began to cry. "Judy? What's wrong?"

Judith clutched at Beth and buried her face in her neck to wail. "Jude?" Beth rocked her gently, "It's Daddy. It's OK, it's just Daddy." Beth reached up and stroked Rick's cheek, "Look, Judith." Daryl and Carl walked in as Judith finally peeked up at Rick. Beth took her hand and brought it to Rick's face. "It's Daddy's real face."

Judith patted him, still clutching Beth's shirt tightly. "Da?"

"Hi Judith," Rick said.

"Da!" Judith bounced slightly and reached for him with both hands. Rick took her from Beth and Judith rubbed his cheeks and chin. "Da." She smiled at him as she stared.

The quiet, gentle moment was interrupted when the door was shoved open to admit Abraham and Eugene carrying a crib in a box, followed by Rosita, Tara, and Carol. "Met some guy outside who was dropping this off," Abraham greeted. "Damn," he gaped at Rick.

"I know," Rick rolled his eyes. "Showers work, obviously. Might take a few minutes for the water to heat up again."

"Place has tank-less water heaters," Eugene replied. "It's more efficient and supplies an endless supply of hot water. So I suggest we split between the houses and draw numbers because frankly you people are starting to stink."

"Us people?" Rosita scowled.

"Have you smelled yourself?" Tara said. "Because frankly we have."

"Kids!" Abraham sighed. "Eugene help me take this into the living room, then we'll head next door. The others will be here soon and they can start showering here."

Rick sighed and handed Judith back to Beth, "I hope that thing has instructions," he followed the men with the crib.

"It can't be that hard," Daryl replied.

Rick snorted, "You'd think. Lori's Dad had to put Carl's together."

*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*

Beth stiffened as Rick talked to Deanna in the doorway. She was sitting on the floor next to the crib Daryl and Rick had managed to assemble, where she'd made up her bed for the night.

"Beth?" Deanna called gently.

Rick nodded and extended his hand to her. Beth stood and walked over. Daryl stayed at the window but shifted, prepared to leap in if needed. She saw Glenn and Maggie also get their feet under themselves. Rick glanced at them, but just took Beth's hand to draw her in.

"You forgot the book," Deanna said, extending the A. A. Milne collection of stories along with several other children's books. "I thought Judith would like these too."

"Thank you," Beth replied with a slight smile. Rick stroked her back gently.

"I also wanted to let you know that for now, you have your job," Deanna smiled, "Taking care of Judith. No job is more important than that. And that way the others can focus on their responsibilities knowing she's is in good hands."

Beth nodded, "Thank you."

"Thanks," Rick repeated.

"We'll revisit the decision when she's older, maybe find a place for you at the school working with the other children. I think that would be good for both of you, Judith can be around other children, and you can find your place," Deanna smiled. "But that's some time down the line, when you're ready."

Beth nodded with a smile, then Rick gently sent her back. She carried the books back over to her place and sat them out of the way. Daryl gave her a quick smile, then went back to watching Deanna.

*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*

"Take a shower. Or I will hose you down in your sleep!" Carol demanded as she walked away from the house, off to her cooking assignment.

"You look ridiculous!" Daryl retorted. He shook his head as Beth appeared in the doorway. "What is up with her?"

Beth gave him a strange little smile and glanced around, "You know Carol, she's just tryin' to take care of everyone." Daryl frowned at her. "Come on in and take a real shower and I'll find you some clean clothes." He scoffed. She smiled for real this time, "I promise it won't be khakis and a cardigan. Come on."

He sighed, but followed her up to the master bathroom. "What's up with you?"

"Nothing." That strange smile was back. The one that didn't appear in her eyes.

He reached over and started the water. Over the rushing he whispered, "You think they're listenin'?"

"Would make sense they would," she replied softly. "But nothin' here makes any sense. Take a shower. I'll get you somethin' to wear while I wash what you got on."

He'd never admit it, but it did feel good to get clean again. Even at the hospital, they cleaned up in the sinks to save the precious water. He hadn't had a real shower since the prison. He scrubbed himself from head to toe twice, then stood in the spray, letting the hot water pour over his back and neck. After so long of hoarding every drop of water, it seemed so wasteful to shower. But it also felt wonderful. When he emerged, he found fresh towels and a complete outfit. Briefs and heavy socks, jeans, a sleeveless gray t-shirt and a flannel shirt in gray and blue plaid. He glanced at the labels inside and snorted, "Rich people clothes." But they fit and were clean. Plus the clothes he'd taken off had disappeared so the option was wear them or walk out in a towel.

He came back downstairs to find Beth pacing the living room with Judith. She smiled at him and continued to sing to the baby. Abraham was standing at the front window, staring outside. Daryl walked over to him, "Ever'thin' OK?"

"Dunno," Abraham jerked his chin to a man standing on the sidewalk. "Been out there a few minutes. Could be watching us. Could just be listening to our angel singing." Beth stopped singing. Daryl glanced back to see her laying Judith into the crib and rubbing her belly as she fussed softly. Judy clutched at her ragdoll from the museum and soothed herself to sleep. Daryl looked back to see the man sigh heavily then move on. "Maybe just listening."

"Yeah. Maybe," Daryl said. The windows were all open, letting in the warm breeze and fresh air. Seemed to make sense that her voice would carry outside to people who probably didn't hear a lot of singing. He went over to the sofa near the couch and stretched out with a sigh. He thought about grabbing one of the books stacked about, even reacquainting himself with Christopher Robin and his pals. Then he dozed off.

*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*

Daryl awoke abruptly and looked around. Judith was sitting up in the crib, hair all disheveled and blinking at him. "Duh-Wuh!" she grumbled and lifted her arms. "Beh?"

Daryl stretched as he stood up, walking over to retrieve Judith from the crib. He smoothed her hair down as she yawned and rubbed her eyes. He heard voices in the kitchen and padded through. He froze in the doorway. A nice looking young man with carefully styled hair and a button down shirt sat flirting with Beth. Abraham, Eugene, and Rosita were sitting with them. Abraham was leaning back on his chair, arms folded across his chest as he glowered at the boy who seemed completely oblivious.

"Hey," Beth caught sight of them, "I didn't hear her cry. Did she wake you?"

"Nah, just woke up," Daryl replied.

"Hello," the boy greeted. "I'm Joseph. I think you met my mother yesterday? Suzanne?"

Daryl grunted in response. Beth gave him a look as she took Judith from him. "Yeah. Hey Joey. I'm Daryl."

"Yes, sir, I know. We don't get too many new faces around here. And it's Joseph."

"Uh-huh."

"Joey brought a high chair and stuff for Judith," Abraham said. "Very nice of him to stop by and visit." He stood and opened the door.

"Yes," Beth smiled, "Thank you Jo*seph*," she emphasized the correct name. "I really need to get Judith cleaned up before dinner, if you'll excuse me."

"Sure," Joseph got to his feet, a beaming smile on his face, "So glad to have met you Beth." He stood and smiled at the others. "Abraham, Rosita, Eugene, and Daryl. Have a good afternoon."

Beth kept the smile on her face until Abraham shut the door behind the young man, then she glared at each of them in turn and strode out with the baby. Rosita rolled her eyes, then dug through a box on the table and yanked out a plastic chair with suction cups on the bottom and a bright yellow rubber ducky. She slammed the items into Daryl's hand and pointed silently after Beth.

Daryl found her back in the bathroom on the floor with Judith. "Rosita sent this." Beth took it and set it up in the tub. "What is it?"

"A bath seat," she replied.

"Sorry I interrupted your visit," he scowled.

She glared at him as she started the water. "He brought things for Judith, what was I supposed to do?" He shrugged and looked at his feet. "A high chair, this seat, a whole box of clothes and blankets and toys and diapers. I was just bein' polite. He's just a boy."

Daryl scoffed, "He's prolly only a couple years older than you."

"And? He's spent the last year and a half behind these walls pretendin' the outside world didn't go to shit. I was just bein' polite."

He rubbed the tile with his sock clad foot, "Seemed to be nice. Guess he was cute." She cut her eyes at him. "What?"

"I got no interest in a *boy*. Especially not one who thought he could score points with the new girl with gifts for her baby. Thought he could walk in here with a high chair and I'd jump at the chance to go on a tour of the neighborhood." She took a breath to calm herself before she picked up Judith to sit her in the bath seat. Daryl leaned over to help her by guiding Judy's legs through the holes. He danced the duck in front of her as she squealed and grabbed for it.

"You don't go anywhere without me, yah hear?"

"I won't," she replied leaning against his side for a second as Judith laughed and splashed in the warm water. She gazed up at him. The swirl of emotion in his chest was becoming all too familiar despite its newness. He coughed and pushed away from her abruptly. "Where are you goin'?"

"Need some air. I'll be back, don't leave the house, OK?"

She nodded and focused back on the baby. "Your Uncle Daryl is a complex man Judith."

*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*

It was late when Rick finished his first night patrol as Constable. Everything was quiet, but he could see some lights in both of their assigned houses. Carol was sitting on the porch when he walked up the steps. "Ten o'clock and all's well," she greeted.

"Good," Rick nodded.

"Abraham, Rosita, Glenn, Maggie, Eugene, Tara, and Gabriel moved next door. The rest of us moved upstairs into the bedrooms. Carl and Noah are on the third floor. There's a two room loft up there and they seem to think it's cool," she smiled. "You, Michonne, and I each have one of the bedrooms. We insisted Beth take the master. That little sitting room connected to the bedroom is a perfect nursery for Judy. Daryl said he'd sleep downstairs but so far he's been up with Beth. He moved the crib up and Suzanne sent Joseph over with a dresser, changing table combo. There's more baby stuff but apparently we're getting it a few pieces at a time. Our sweet Bethy seems to have attracted a suitor."

Rick groaned.

Carol gave a strange little laugh, "Relax Dad, she's got a good head on her shoulders." Her eyes went over Rick's shoulder to the house across the street.

Rick glanced around, "True. Well I'm beat."

Carol nodded and stood up to lead the way inside. Rick shut the door and moved a chair in front of it. "Someone in the house straight across kept watching from behind the curtains," Carol whispered. "Could just be curiosity."

"Yeah," Rick sighed. "Good night."

*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*

Rick stepped into the master bedroom through the wide open door. Daryl looked over from his seat in the window. Rick lifted his hand and went over to the sitting room to peek in on his sleeping daughter. Judith was dressed in a soft blanket sleeper, sprawled on her back in the crib with her museum rag doll clutched in her fist. There were a few new stuffed toys in with her, but she had her favorite.

Daryl walked up behind her, "I's just sittin' 'til Beth fell asleep. I'll go downstairs now."

Rick reached over and gripped his shoulder, "Daryl, the two of you have been sleeping in the same room for weeks now. It's up to you, but I actually prefer you were up here." Daryl shrugged and nodded. "Which room is mine?"

"Next one down," Daryl pointed. "We moved all your shit in. Beth said you should have the master but Carol and Michonne said no."

"They're right, this is best for her," Rick replied. "Good night."

"G'night."

*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*

Daryl sat on the bench under the window staring out at the quiet street. It was approaching midnight and everything was still under the bright moon. With a sudden gasp, Beth sat up in the bed, "Daryl?" she whispered.

"Hey," he replied softly, getting up to go to her. "You OK?"

"Didn't know where you were."

He cupped her cheek, stroking her soft skin with his thumb, "I'm right here. Ain't goin' nowhere." He urged her to lay back down and covered her with the blankets. Then he toed off his boots and stretched out next to her. She folded the top blanket back over him. He turned his head so he could watch her face in the dim light as she drifted back to sleep. He told himself he'd just lay there for a few minutes, then return to his post at the window. His eyes closed.

When they opened, the room was bathed in sunlight. Beth was still asleep, curled against his side with her hand curled around his bicep. Sensing his gaze, she stirred and opened her eyes. She smiled at him, "Morning," she whispered. "You stayed."

"Told you. Ain't goin' nowhere."

*x*x*x*x*x*x*x* X *x*x*x*x*x*x*x* _  
I wasn't lookin' for love  
It didn't really fit inside of my world but  
One look in your eyes, and I completely changed my mind_

_Oh  
I wasn't lookin' for you  
But you found me just like you were made to  
And it's crazy now to think about how we almost live without... each other_

_I,_  
_Love spendin' all my time_  
_Lying right here by your side_  
_A place where I can always stay, cause you_  
_You make me feel safe_  
_You make me feel safe_

_I didn't want to jump the gun_  
_And be the one to say I love you so soon_  
_But when I look at you, the truth is,_  
_Baby now I do, I do_

_I,_  
_Love spendin' all my time_  
_Lying right here by your side_  
_A place that I can always stay, cause you,_  
_You make me feel safe_  
_You make me feel safe_

_A place that, a place that I belong_  
_Wrapped here inside your arms_  
_No fear no harm to my heart_

_Oh_

_I,_  
_Love spendin' all my time_  
_Lying right here by your side_  
_A place that I can always stay_  
_Oh baby say you'll always stay_  
_Cause you, you make me feel safe_  
_You make me feel safe_

"Safe" – Lyrics by: Katie Armiger &amp; Mallary Hope - Copyright: Sony/ATV Tree Publishing, Songs For My Good Girl Music, Downtown Music Publishing LLC


	5. Chapter 5

Breaking Free 5

All recognized characters, situations, scenes, and dialog belong to AMC, the writers, creators, and actors of The Walking Dead. Adapting "Forget" to include Beth in the episode. I love where these Alexandria episodes are going and so wish Beth was there, so here she is. I also love that Daryl is clinging to the idea of this being a safe place, which is why I kept it, but had Beth be the doubting one. Song is cited at the end (thought it was perfect – except for the occasional 'she' pronoun, I thought it could relate to several people in the story).

*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*

"I look stupid," Beth complained. She was in the master bathroom wearing a cotton sundress that was white with pale blue and purple flowers and fell to her knees.

"You look beautiful," Carol retorted. She handed Beth an open weave blue sweater to slip on over top.

"I don't see why I can't just wear jeans like you."

"Because you are a lovely young lady, with lovely young legs and a reason to dress up a little."

Beth stared at her reflection in the mirror. Her hair was loose, draped over her shoulders. A light layer of makeup helped to conceal the scars. Carol hugged her from behind, "I know you don't want to go, but we have to. It's only a few hours until Judith's bedtime and you'll have to bring her home. You know that I've got something to do tonight, right?"

"Daryl told me," Beth nodded.

"OK, good. So quick ground rules, don't leave the party without one of us. Do not let anyone take you anywhere, not even just to a separate room. Stay where we can see you. Do you remember the Disney movie Finding Nemo?" Beth nodded. Carol grinned and sang to her "Just keep smiling, just keep smiling," using the rhythm of Dory's song. Beth laughed aloud. Carol gave her a squeeze, "I have to go get the cookies on the tray, get your shoes on."

Beth stood staring into the mirror for another minute, then went to slip on the cute sandals Maggie had found for her. She checked the diaper bag to be sure she had everything, then walked down the stairs to where Rick and Carl were waiting with Judith. Rick looked up and smiled at her, "Well look at you."

Carl grinned, "Wow Beth."

Beth blushed, "Thanks."

Carol emerged from the kitchen with the platter of cookies, "Let's go."

Rick carried Judith as he walked next to Carol. Beth walked holding onto Carl's arm. Rick let them get further ahead. "You talk to her?"

"Yep," Carol replied. "Daryl told her already about the plan."

Rick blinked, "Oh yeah. No I meant about her keeping close."

Carol chuckled, "Yes Dad."

Rick sighed, "It's just… I doubt Daryl's going to show. I assume that's why he's been avoiding the house all afternoon."

"Yeah. Likely Beth and Judith will be the center of attention tonight anyway, it would just make him nervous." Carol plastered the blank smile on her face as they approached Deanna's house. "Show time."

Deanna welcomed them in, fussing over Judith. Once Judith saw the people gathered and looking at her, she pouted and demanded, "Beh." Rick handed her over to Beth who plastered on her own smile and walked into the crowd.

Time passed in a blur of names, faces, and mindless conversation. Every woman and a large number of the men wanted to hold Judith. She would go willingly to anyone, so long as Beth was close. She cooed to them, smiled, then would squirm and reach for Beth. Beth kept the smile on her face as she talked about the baby.

The only time the smile slipped was when Jessie walked over to introduce her husband, Pete. Pete immediately plucked Judith from Beth's arms and handed her almost absently to Rick. "Where is the numbness in your hand," Pete asked.

Beth blinked at him, glanced to Rick, then showed Pete her hand, "It was both my pinky and ring finger, but now it's just my pinky."

Pete hummed at her then took her hand in his. He flicked her fingers and hand and judged her reaction. Then he pulled her sweater and dress down off of her shoulder to examine the scar. Beth cringed as Suzanne and Joseph walked over.

"We just wanted to say hi," Suzanne said as she tickled Judith.

"Hi," Joseph echoed.

Beth slipped her clothes back into place, and the smile back onto her face, "Hi."

Pete dropped his hands, "Not much I can do. Probably don't need to if the numbness is starting to fade, it may disappear completely. Same with the scarring. Keep your skin covered from the sun." He stepped away with a nod to Rick.

Joseph moved closer, "Beth, can I get you something to drink?"

"Now Joseph," a woman whose name Beth couldn't remember gave a high, fake sounding laugh, "You can't be monopolizing all of Beth's time." Her son, another name she'd forgotten, sauntered over with an arrogant smile that set Beth's nerved on edge. The woman gave her son a gentle shove, "Why don't you two go get something to eat while Rick has the baby?"

Judith saved her by letting out a squawk. She pouted at Rick and turned to reach for Beth, her fingers curling to her hands in a take me gesture. Beth took her, settling Judith on her hip and stroking her hair to soothe her.

Smug Jerk reached out a finger to cluck Judith under her chin. Judith scowled at him and batted him away from her face. "Guess she doesn't like that."

"Not really," Beth replied evenly, still smiling. "I would love some iced tea if there is any."

Smug Jerk tapped his heels together and gave a weird little bow then sauntered away with one last smirk tossed to Joseph. Beth turned her smile to Joseph, "Joseph I was wonderin' if there is a playpen or a pack n' play in storage? It would be so helpful to have one."

Joseph grinned and nodded, "I think so. I'll check and bring it by first thing in the morning."

"Thank you. That would be wonderful."

Joseph moved away to talk to his mother. Rick rubbed Beth's back gently. She smiled up at him, and whispered, "Tell me you did not just pinch your daughter."

He smiled back, "Now would I do that?"

"Thanks."

"Stay where I can see you," he ordered. They separated to mingle.

Time crawled forward again. Beth smiled as she wandered the party with Judith on her hip. People cooed over the baby and engaged Beth in mindless conversation. Judith became less and less willing to be handed off to anyone, clutching at Beth when anyone moved too close. Smug Jerk brought her a glass of tea, but the first sip found it to be unsweetened and very bitter. She carried it for a while until she was able to abandon it on a side table. She saw Carol pass through the crowd, smiling, and chatting with a few of the women. She caught Beth's eye and nodded once. Beth started toward her but lost sight almost immediately.

"Are you OK?" Jessie asked.

Beth smiled, "Oh yes, I'm fine. I just need the ladies' room."

"It is right back there," Jessie indicated. "I'll take Judith," she offered. She had an empty coffee cup in her hand that Judith stared at. Jessie handed it to the baby, distracting her enough to take her from Beth. "Go on. We'll be right here."

Beth bit her lip, but nodded. As she slipped away from the crowd, she saw Michonne, who immediately followed her. "OK?"

Beth nodded, "Need to pee."

Michonne smiled at her, "Go ahead. Then I think we've done our duty here."

"Oh thank God."

*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*

Rick pulled back from the kiss he'd placed on Jessie's cheek. She stood frozen. Then Rick realized they had an audience. Beth stood in the doorway, eyes wide in shock. Rick cleared his throat and Jessie moved away.

"Sorry," Beth said. "I think it's time for me to get Judith home. It's past her bedtime."

Rick nodded and handed the baby to Beth, "Let me find Carl."

Beth smiled, the fake smile she'd had on her face all night, "He's in the back playing video games with the other kids. He's having fun, there's no reason for you to duck out early. Rosita, Abraham, and Michonne are ready to go, and Daryl's probably at the house." Judith yawned widely and rested her cheek on Beth's shoulder. "Good night."

Jessie gave her a quick smile, "Good night. I should go check on my kids." She strode out of the room.

"Beth," Rick started.

"Don't," she said sharply. "I don't want to know. Good night."

Rick walked to the doorway and watched her say her goodbyes. Several of the young men offered to walk her home, but Michonne and Tara took positions on either side of her. Abraham looked a little unsteady on his feet between Rosita and Eugene as they followed out the door.

*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*

Judith slept with her head on Beth's shoulder the entire walk home and through the goodnights when she and Michonne came inside and Abraham, Rosita, Tara, and Eugene continued next door. She slept through Beth changing her into a fresh diaper and snapping her into a sleeper. But the minute Beth laid her down Judith woke up and fussed. She escalated from the quiet I don't want to sleep cry straight to the demanding, desperate don't leave me cry. She sat up and reached for Beth. Beth tried to lay her down and soothe her, but Judith screamed. "OK, OK, baby, come here."

Michonne came into the room as Beth lifted Judith, "She OK?"

"Yeah," Beth replied. Judith calmed down to sniffles and jerking breaths as she clutched at Beth. "Too much stimulation tonight." She rocked in place as the baby settled.

Michonne nodded, "Call if you need me," she offered as she walked away.

Beth pulled off the sweater and dropped it into the laundry pile. Judith pressed her cheek against Beth's chest, rubbing skin to skin. Her eyes drifted closed but as soon as Beth leaned over the crib, she woke up and cried.

For an hour, Beth paced, swayed, and sang to the fussy baby. Finally Judith fell into a deep exhausted sleep. Beth kept moving for another ten minutes until she was completely limp and Beth was able to transfer her to the crib. She stood for a moment to be sure then quietly left the room. She walked through the master bedroom to the bathroom. She shut the door most of the way, leaving a crack so she could hear the baby. Then she slid down the wall, sobbing quietly and hugging herself.

*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*

It was well after midnight as the rest of them made their way home from the party. Rick walked next to Carl as Carol chatted with Maggie and Glenn ahead of them. "Did you have fun?"

Carl nodded, "Reminded me of parties back when I was a kid. Adults talking on one room, all the kids playing video games in the other."

"I'm glad you pulled Noah in to play," Rick glanced back at the silent young man limping along behind them.

"I think he had fun too. He beat the pants off the guys in one game. It was cool. Especially since it was one he hadn't played before." Carl grinned, "Hey there's Daryl."

Rick looked over and saw Daryl in an open garage fiddling with a motorcycle. He walked up the driveway. "You missed the party."

"Didn't miss it. Didn't go," Daryl replied. "Where's Beth?"

"Back at the house already. She took the baby home a few hours ago."

"Alone?"

"No," Rick indicated the group waiting for them, "The others all went with her. Except Sasha, but may be there by now too," Rick replied as he looked the bike over.

"You missed it," Carl grinned, "She had on a real pretty dress."

Daryl grunted and put the tools into the toolbox, then followed them out, pulling down the garage door as quietly as he could.

"Whose bike?"

"Aaron picked it up, thought he could put it together," Daryl said. "Guess it's mine now. If I can get all the parts for it."

"Cool! Will you take me for a ride?" Carl asked.

"Sure," Daryl replied at the same time Rick said, "No!"

"Why not?"

Rick blinked, "You know that was purely instinctive. Yeah. You can go."

*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*

Michonne was in the living room, dozing with a book on her chest when they arrived. "Shh," she greeted then continued in a whisper, "Beth had trouble getting the baby down."

"Everything else OK?" Rick asked softly. Michonne nodded. "Did Sasha come back?"

"She was outside when we got back. Saw the light go out in her room a while ago."

They quietly locked up the house and moved upstairs to their rooms.

Daryl let himself into the master bedroom. Beth wasn't in the bed. He peeked in and found the baby sound asleep. He crossed over to the bathroom and heard Beth sniffling inside. "Beth?"

"Yeah?"

"You OK?" he opened the door to see her sitting against the wall with red eyes and a tear streaked face. "What's wrong?"

Beth shook her head as Daryl sank down to sit next to her. "It's stupid."

"Ain't," Daryl replied. "Tell me."

"It's just this stupid party. These people are so clueless, Daryl. All they did was gossip about each other and oh my god did you see what so and so was wearing tonight? Tradin' recipes and tips on gettin' their kids to do homework. All this stuff that doesn't matter anymore and they treat it like it's all that matters. They were polite to my face, but I could hear them behind my back. A couple of them think we're lyin' about Judith, that she's really mine. I don't care really, she is mine sorta, but why would we lie about that? And why do they care?" She grabbed some toilet paper off the roll to wipe her nose and eyes. "I wanted to scream. Then Sasha kinda did. She left and everyone just went back to gossipin'. These people are nuts. They're in complete denial of what's happening outside these walls."

"They ain't got nothin' else to do," Daryl said. "No TV. No internet. Talkin' trash about each other is all that's left."

Beth sighed, "I looked like some little country girl at a big city socialite party. Maggie fit right in, Deanna was right to pick her to help govern. She walked around like she was born to this life. Bet no one talked about her dress. Tellin' me I look so cute," she rolled her eyes, "Judith looked cute." She stared at Daryl for a moment, contemplating how much to say. She took a deep breath and blurted, "There are three other boys like Joseph, all with mothers pushing us together. They're mad at Suzanne for sending him to the house already, apparently they were supposed to all meet me tonight to start on even footing. It was like some strange dating game show, with the mothers tellin' me how wonderful their sons are. One was going to study law, and oh he's still keeping his studies goin', like we need lawyers now. Joseph wanted to be a banker, which is so very respectable." She sniffled again, falling silent. Daryl was still as his jaw clenched and released. Beth sighed and looked him over. "What's on your shirt?"

Daryl looked, "Spaghetti sauce."

"Where'd you get spaghetti?"

"Aaron and Erik invited me for dinner. Erik cooked spaghetti."

Beth blinked, "So I had to suffer through the cocktail party in hell with those people and you got to go to a quiet dinner where you had spaghetti? That sucks."

Daryl sighed, "I shoulda been with you. Been there…"

"You woulda been bored out of your mind."

"Don't matter. I wanna be there for you. Be what you need me to be."

"I need you to be you, Daryl. That's all I'll ever need."

Daryl stared deep into her eyes, then leaned forward. Beth sensed his intentions and flinched back, "Don't." The rejection hit him harder than any blow he'd ever received. He felt his heart clench then drop.

Beth's eyes were closed but as he pulled away, she opened them, "Daryl… No… it's just I've been cryin' and I look gross. My eyes are all red and my nose is runnin'. Plus we're sittin' next to a toilet." But he was withdrawing further. She sighed, "Let me have your shirt, I'll try to get the stain out. Give me a few minutes to get myself together."

Daryl stood up and helped her rise, then stripped off his outer shirt, "I'll go downstairs."

"No," she replied, "You won't. Wait for me in our room."

Daryl strode over to the window and stared out into the quiet night. "You stupid, bumblin', idiot, redneck, asshole, shit!" he cursed himself softly.

*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*

Beth scrubbed the shirt sleeve in the sink, "You are such an idiot," she scowled at her reflection in the mirror. "He goes to kiss you and you make him stop because your face is red? Stupid, stupid, little girl!" She gave up on the sleeve. She needed a pretreat solution from the laundry room but there was no way she was going downstairs now. Odds were good anyway that he'd end up ripping the sleeves off the shirt. She tossed it aside and ran cold water over a washcloth to bathe her face.

She took a deep breath and walked out of the bathroom, straight to where he stood at the window. "Beth look I shouldn't've…" She took his face in her hands, stretched up and kissed him gently. He was frozen in place for a long moment, then wrapped his arms around her to pull her in closer. When they finally parted for air, he whispered one word, "Why?"

She smiled, "Because I wanted to. Because I knew you wouldn't try again."

He nodded then lowered his head for another, deeper kiss. His hands stroked her back. Suddenly she pulled back and tilted her head.

"What?"

"Shh," she hissed. "Oh baby go back to sleep, please, go back to sleep." Daryl heard Judith's soft fussy cry. Then the baby wailed. "Shit. She's wet. I'm comin' Judy." Beth placed one more kiss on Daryl's lips then drew away to go to the nursery. "Hey there darlin'. You didn't sleep long." Daryl followed and watched Beth carry the baby over to the changing table. Judith fussed and cried as Beth quickly changed her, talking in a low, soothing tone. "I know, that was just too much nonsense tonight. All those strangers wantin' to cuddle with my girl. You were so good." She got the baby back into her sleeper and paced the floor, singing softly and swaying until Judith dropped back into a deep sleep.

"You're amazin'," Daryl whispered. Beth smiled. "I need to talk to you for a bit, OK?"

*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*

They lay side by side on the bed, facing each other. Beth had changed into her pajamas while Daryl had stripped down to his t-shirt and briefs. He told her about his night and Aaron's request.

Beth frowned, "I just wonder… They don't bring people in. No new people. Everyone's said that. We're the first group in a long time. So why do they need recruiters? I just worry that it's to get you to leave."

Daryl shook his head, "I ain't leavin' you. Ever."

She stared at him, "I just… I don't trust them. There's too much we don't know."

"But what if it is what it appears to be? What if it's safe and we could have a future here?" Daryl asked. "Judy and Carl could grow up. Maybe Maggie and Glenn could have a baby, or Abraham and Rosita. Maybe… even us," the last sentence was said so softly she almost missed it. "This could be our chance to live. I think we should take it."

"OK," Beth nodded. "I'll try."

"Get some sleep. I gotta go out tomorrow mornin', but I'll be back quick."

"Promise?"

"Yep."

*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*

The next morning, Beth walked out to the front porch with Daryl as he left. "I'll be back in a bit and we'll take Asskicker for a walk."

"OK," she nodded. She glanced around and saw Joseph approaching with the playpen she'd requested and a big smiled on his face. "Oh what a lovely way to start my day."

Daryl peeked over, then drew Beth close. "Don't hate me," he whispered then lowered his head to kiss her firmly. She heard the playpen drop to the ground with a loud thud, then lost herself in the kiss. Daryl drew back very slowly. "Claimed," he murmured in a deep, gruff voice.

"What?" she blinked rapidly, trying to center herself.

"Nothin'," he replied. "Be back soon." He strode off without a backward glance.

"Hey Joey!" Abraham called as he climbed down off their porch, "Need a hand with that?" Eugene followed him, grinning like an idiot at Beth. "Poor kid looks just like you did when you found out Tara was a lesbian."

"Did not," Eugene snorted. "I knew all along."

"Did not," Abraham repeated as they reached Joseph. "This a playpen for Judith? Thanks this'll be great. Really though you don't need to keep carrying this all by yourself. Shit's heavy."

"We should borrow Olivia's cart," Eugene said. "Bring it all at once." Joseph blinked at him in shock and turned away silently to walk back home. "Poor kid."

"Elizabeth!" Beth jumped at Carol's sharp, insistent tone. "Come in this house this instant." Beth went inside, confused. Carol was glowering at her and pulled her close. Then she smiled, "This is where I pretend to tell you that, that was entirely inappropriate behavior for a young lady. Now you duck your head and nod." Beth complied. Carol kissed her temple. "That's my good girl." They drew apart and Carol winked, "Judith is in the kitchen in her high chair." She patted Beth on the bottom to send her on her way.

Carol barely reached the sidewalk before Suzanne was striding up to her. "That was certainly…. Something." Two other women Carol had met earlier joined them, nodding in agreement.

Carol rolled her eyes, "Oh kids these days."

"Are they… together?"

Carol nodded with her blank smile firmly in place.

Suzanne blinked, "Is that even legal? He's so much older than she is."

Carol shook her head, letting the smile slip, "He's not really much older. He's had a rough time of it and it's worn on him. Age is just a number when you're talking about love." She pressed her hand to her heart, "I'm not her mother…"

"Well," Suzanne sniffed, "She obviously needs one."

A bit of her rage flashed in Carol's eyes before she hid it, "I've talked to her and will again. She's a smart young lady with a sweet, caring heart. She fell in love. It happens. If we're lucky it happens with the right man early. I met my husband when I wasn't much older than she is and had many wonderful years with him before…" she closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "She's eighteen. And he is a strong, caring, honorable young man."

Suzanne stormed off. The women watched her leave. "Don't worry about it Carol, she's just angry because she thought sure Beth would fall for Joseph. I swear I think she had the grandchildren's names already picked out. Though I admit, they would've been beautiful."

Carol forced the smile again, "Any child Beth has will be beautiful. But the heart wants what the heart wants. And Beth's heart wants Daryl. Excuse me." The women nodded and wandered back to one of their homes. Carol walked away, with the smile still pinned on like a mask, "Stupid fucking bitch," she murmured without changing expression. "Beth needs a mother?" she scoffed and gave a friendly wave to the neighbors. "She's got several you moron."

*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*

Glenn jogged until he caught up to Daryl, "What the hell was that?"

Daryl shrugged, "Just makin' sure the boys 'round here know how things are."

"How things are? How are things?"

"She's claimed. She's mine."

"Yours?" Glenn gasped, "Jesus, Daryl, Maggie's gonna kill you."

Daryl paused and looked straight at him, "You really think I care what Maggie thinks?"

Glenn sighed heavily, "No. Look Daryl, she's trying. She really thought Beth was dead, she grieved for her just like she grieved for Hershel. We've been through so much in such a short time. But we'll get better. We've got a real chance now."

Daryl nodded, "A chance at a life now. Livin' instead of survivin'. That's just it. I'm takin' this chance too." Glenn nodded and they separated again.

*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*

Rick, Carol, and Daryl stood beside the abandoned house. Rick had shoved the gun Carol stole into his waistband. Daryl had refused.

Rick and Carol exchanged glances as Daryl wandered over to look through the house windows. "You want to have the talk with him or you want me to?" Carol asked.

Rick sighed, "God I thought I was done after Carl."

"You know I can hear you, right?" Daryl replied. "Don't need no talk."

Rick walked over to him, "OK. I get it. I really do. And it's great. Seriously. You two…"

"You fit," Carol continued. "Two halves of one piece. I told you before. This is a good thing. And this morning was absolutely, positively perfect."

Rick rubbed his face, "Just… no babies. Not for a while, OK. Not until we know for sure."

Daryl actually blushed and ducked his head, "Shit. We ain't even…"

"OK," Rick nodded. "Just… be safe when you do." Daryl nodded and looked back inside the house. "What are you looking at?"

"There's a rockin' chair in there. Thinkin' we take it home for Beth to rock Asskicker," Daryl said as he tested the door.

Rick smiled, "I think that's a great idea."

*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*

"Carl, we gotta go!" Beth called up the stairs.

"I'm coming. Sheesh!"

Beth rolled her eyes as Carl pounded down the stairs. Daryl had Judith in the stroller and was pushing her in circles on the driveway as she squealed. They walked down the sidewalk to drop Carl off for his first afternoon in school.

On the way back, they stopped at Aaron and Eric's house so Daryl could show Beth the motorcycle.

"Hi," Aaron came out to greet them. "Come inside. Eric wants to meet you officially Beth."

Eric was sitting in the living room with his foot propped on the table. "Hello. Good, visitors. I'm so tired of talking to Aaron. Hello Beth. Hi Judith." Judith waved at him from Beth's arms. "Sit, sit," he smiled, "Wow. That was quite a show this morning. Town gossip hasn't been this hot and bothered since they figured out Aaron and I weren't just friends."

"Eric," Aaron sighed.

"What?"

Beth cleared her throat, "How long have you been together?"

Eric smiled, "Almost six years now.

"About time to trade you in for a newer model," teased Aaron

Eric snorted, "Good luck."

"I's just gonna show Beth the bike," Daryl said.

"Oh go on, she doesn't want to see that pile of junk," Eric said. "You two go out and fiddle so Beth and I can chat. That OK Beth?"

Beth smiled, "Of course." She nodded to Daryl as she sat Judith onto the floor with her doll.

*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*

Rick walked up the driveway to find Daryl once again working on the motorcycle with Aaron watching him and taking notes. Aaron looked up and smiled, "Hey. Figured if I wrote everything down, maybe I could put my own together one day. If Eric would let me ride it anyway."

"Beth and Judith are inside," Daryl reported as a loud clatter came from inside the house. "Just follow the ruckus."

Rick climbed the steps to the kitchen door and saw Beth sitting at the table with a stack of cards in front of her, writing in a book. Judith was on the floor playing with pots and lids obviously pulled out of the cabinet in front of her. She saw him and squealed, "Dadadadada."

Beth turned and smiled, "Hello. Eric was just lettin' me copy a bunch of his recipes."

Eric smiled as he crutched his way into the kitchen, "Nothing major. Just some things I've managed to make work in this day and age. Can I get you something to drink?"

"No thanks," Rick replied. "I was just lookin' for Daryl."

"What's wrong?"

"There's a walker outside, banging on the wall. He's making too much noise," Rick reported.

"I'll go take care of it," Daryl replied.

"I'll go with you," Aaron said. "Can we get him from inside, you think?"

Rick nodded, "Should be able to. Or Daryl should with the crossbow."

Daryl picked it up from where it stood against the wall. "Let's go."

"Bethy, stay here until we get back, OK?" Rick ordered.

Beth nodded as the three of them walked away down the street. "It'll be OK, Beth," Eric assured her. "They'll take care of it."

Beth smiled, the same blank smile she'd been putting on her face since the party, "Sure. Do you have any recipes for pizza dough? Carl's been sayin' he misses pizza somethin' fierce. I'd love to be able to make him one."

"I think so."

*x*x*x*x*x*x*x* X *x*x*x*x*x*x*x*

_I don't know what I've done  
Or if I like what I've begun  
But something told me to run  
And honey you know me it's all or none  
There were sounds in my head  
Little voices whispering  
That I should go and this should end  
Oh and I found myself listening_

_Cause I don't know who I am, who I am without you_  
_All I know is that I should_  
_And I don't know if I could stand another hand upon you_  
_All I know is that I should_  
_Cause she will love you more than I could_  
_She who dares to stand where I stood_

_See I thought love was black and white_  
_That it was wrong or it was right_  
_But you ain't leaving without a fight_  
_And I think I am just as torn inside_

_Cause I don't know who I am, who I am without you_  
_All I know is that I should_  
_And I don't know if I could stand another hand upon you_  
_All I know is that I should_  
_Cause she will love you more than I could_  
_She who dares to stand where I stood_

_And I won't be far from where you are if ever you should call_  
_You meant more to me than anyone I've ever loved at all_  
_But you taught me how to trust myself_  
_And so I say to you, this is what I have to do._

_Cause I don't know who I am, who I am without you_  
_All I know is that I should_  
_And I don't know if I could stand another hand upon you_  
_All I know is that I should_  
_Cause she will love you more than I could_  
_She who dares to stand where I stood_  
_She who dares to stand where I stood._

Where I Stood – lyrics by Higgins, Melissa Morrison © Chrysalis Music Group


	6. Chapter 6

Breaking Free 6

All recognized characters and situations belong to AMC, the creators, writers, and actors of The Walking Dead. A few scenes to continue including Beth in "Spend". Shorter, but she would not have been in most places/sequences of the episode. Song is cited at the end.

Spend - Another episode where I spent half the time wondering who was watching the baby. Everyone was off doing their own thing, in and out of the house with no sign of Judith anywhere. See why they need Beth?

Also this was the most brutal thing I've ever watched. It was amazingly well done. Still hate these people for Coda, even more so now (saving Noah from Grady for what? a month later this happens), but this was a wild and incredible episode.

*x*x*x*x*x*x*x* X *x*x*x*x*x*x*x*

_Now that we're here,  
Now that we've come this far,  
Just hold on.  
There is nothing to fear,  
For I am right beside you.  
For all my life,  
I am yours._

What about now?  
What about today?  
What if you're making me all that I was meant to be?  
What if our love never went away?  
What if it's lost behind words we could never find?

*x*x*x*x*x*x*x* X *x*x*x*x*x*x*x*

Beth closed the windowed French doors that separated the master bedroom from the sitting room nursery. "She asleep?" Daryl asked. He was sitting on the corner of the bed watching her.

"Yeah," Beth nodded as she walked over to him. He smiled and wrapped his arms around her waist, resting his cheek against her chest. She rubbed his back but as his hands began to stroke and wander, she pulled away. "Wait."

Daryl blinked up at her in shock, "What's wrong?"

Beth bit her lip then took a deep breath, "Daryl do you want me? I mean, really want… me?" He stared at her for a moment, confused, then nodded. "I'm just worried that this is because it's somethin' you think I need rather than somethin' you want. You said yourself that you want to be what I need you to be."

"And you said that all you needed was for me to be me. I don't… talk about shit like this. I don't want to push you. I don't need nothin' from you. I want to be with you, however that is."

"I want you too," she said reaching out, he took her hands. "But you keep… stoppin' and pullin' back. You won't let me touch you." He huffed out a breath, and mumbled. "I didn't hear you."

He pulled her to stand close again, "I ain't got a condom. I'll get some, when I go on that run but for now… If I let you touch me… I wouldn't be able to stop. I want you so bad," he groaned.

"Oh."

"I think this place is good. I think this is where we get to live. After everythin' we been through, this we get to keep. Here with these people. We reinforce the walls, keep the water flowin', and the power goin'. It's good. I think that. But until we know for absolute sure… I can't risk you. After Lori…" he shook his head. "I can't lose you." He wrapped his arms around her again, she rested her cheek on his hair. "I love you, Beth," he whispered.

"I love you too, Daryl," she sniffled, overwhelmed by emotion. "Even though you're an idiot."

He scowled, "Why?"

"There's a box of condoms in the bathroom cabinet."

"Oh."

She smiled down at him. He stretched up to kiss her. He pulled back to yank his shirt off, she helped him remove it and toss it aside. His t-shirt quickly followed. His hands came up to the buttons on her shirt and opened them one by one, revealing her to him. "God, you are so beautiful."

"I ain't never done this before," she whispered.

He nodded, "I know. I'll drink. I ain't never done it with someone I love before."

"Me neither."

"That's cheatin'."

She laughed and kissed him again.

*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*

Daryl woke up to an empty bed. He sat up and the sheet slid off his naked chest. The doors to the nursery were open and he could hear Beth singing softly. He got up and yanked his jeans on. Beth was in the rocker he and Rick had carried back to the house. Judith was snuggled against her falling asleep. Daryl smiled as he realized Beth was only wearing his flannel shirt. He walked over and leaned down to kiss her.

"You OK?" he whispered as she resumed rocking.

"Yeah."

"I… I din't hurt you none?" he asked worriedly.

"No," she smiled at him. "Not at all. It was good. Very good." He sighed and nodded, smiling back at her almost shyly. He helped her stand up with the now sleeping baby. She laid her down into the crib and tucked the rag doll next to her. Daryl stroked Judith's hair gently.

She sighed, "When you go on that run, look for regular diapers. These expensive ones don't keep her dry overnight worth a damn."

"OK. Anythin' else?"

"Just you. Back safe to me."

"OK." He kissed her, then led her back to their bed.

*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*

The entire group sat around the kitchen and dining room eating quietly. They filled every chair and inch of floor space. Judith was in her high chair squeezing pieces of pancake between her fingers to bring them to her mouth. She was mostly successful, but still had crumbs smeared across her cheeks. Carl grinned at her as he took a bite of his own breakfast.

"Where's Noah?" Sasha asked as she moved her food from one side of the plate to the other.

"Meeting with Reg," Maggie replied.

"He ate early, the first test batch," Carol replied as she dropped fresh pancakes in front of Eugene and Abraham. Abraham grabbed the syrup, blocking Eugene's hand.

"Hurry up," Eugene demanded.

"Hold your horses, there is an art to proper syrup deployment."

Rosita snickered at him.

*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*

Daryl came out of the bathroom. Beth was packing his backpack on the bed. His crossbow sat waiting by the door. He walked up behind her to wrap her in his arms. She sighed and gripped his wrists. "I put in your spare jeans and two extra shirts. You've got water and a few cans of food here too. Aaron has supplies in the car, but just in case."

"Thanks," he whispered. She turned around to face him and he held her tight. He took a deep breath, "You know where to go if shit goes wrong." She nodded. "There's some supplies there, enough to get you through 'til I get back. Won't be but a few days. You want me to look for anythin' while I'm out there?"

"Just the diapers," she replied.

"OK," he lowered his head to kiss her. She clutched at him as the kiss deepened. He groaned and pulled away to drop kisses across her jaw. "I love you. Ain't never told no one that before."

"I love you," she replied as her breath shuddered in her chest. "Come back to me."

"Always."

He shouldered his pack and slid his crossbow to his back, then took her hand to lead her out of their room.

Carol looked up as they walked in, "You two need to eat."

Judith looked up and grinned. She gathered pancake in her fist and offered it up to Daryl who let her feed it to him.

"Gross," Glenn scowled, "Dude that's full of baby slobber."

Daryl shrugged, "Little bit'a Asskicker spit never hurt no one." He accepted a plate and fork from Carol. Beth took hers with a strained smile but ate when Daryl looked at her firmly.

*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*

"We'll be back in a few days," Aaron said. "Be careful and rest that ankle," he ordered Eric.

"I will, you be careful," Eric replied.

Daryl held Beth close as he stared into her eyes, silently. They'd said all they needed to in the privacy of their room. He kissed her gently, then Aaron clapped him on the back. Daryl drew away from Beth and nodded. "I'll see you soon. Love you."

"Love you. Come back to me."

"Always."

Eric stood next to her as Daryl led the way out of the gates. Aaron waved out the window. Beth and Eric lifted their hands in reply. As the roar of the motorcycle faded into the distance, Eric turned to Beth, "You OK?" She nodded. "You didn't say goodbye."

"We hate goodbyes."

They walked back slowly to the house. Beth helped Eric keep his balance on the steps then walked the rest of the way alone. Rick looked up as she entered the kitchen. He was scrubbing Judith's face. "I think she got more pancake in her hair then in her mouth," he said as Judith whined and struggled. "OK, clean enough." He lifted the table and unbuckled her to lift her out. He kissed Judith's cheek, "Mmm still sweet. Oh that's just you."

Judith giggled and patted his cheek, "Da."

Rick handed her to Beth, "You OK?"

"I'll be fine," she replied as he kissed her forehead.

"Hey," Noah came in, "Forgot my pack."

Carol walked down as he walked up, "OK, dishes are done and I'm off. I've got morning shift at the kitchens today." She smiled at Beth, "Do me a favor?"

"Sure," Beth nodded.

"When Judy goes down for her nap, get some rest," she urged. "You look tired." She cupped Beth's cheek. "He'll be back before you know it."

"Carl, if you're going with me, let's go," Rick shouted up the stairs. When Carl's pounding feet hit the steps, he yelled "Walk!"

Carl and Noah descended, laughing. Carl squeezed Judith's foot as he passed to follow Rick.

*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*

"So he's going to start teaching me," Noah said as he and Beth walked to the departure point. Beth had Judith in a colorful sling carrier. "Architecture and building. I'll be able to make a real contribution here."

"That is so great," Beth replied. "I'm so proud of you."

"Thanks," Noah replied. "Maybe I'll build you and Daryl a house someday." Beth laughed.

They reached the group preparing to go on the run. Reg smiled as Noah walked by. Eugene was fretting about being forced to go. Maggie and Glenn walked out together.

"I meant to bring you all something you could eat on the road," Deanna frowned.

"We ate breakfast," Glenn replied as he kissed Maggie goodbye. "I'll be stuffed until dinner at least."

"Carol wouldn't let us out of her sight without eating," Noah laughed.

Reg laughed, "Why did you eat the oatmeal?"

Noah shrugged with a smile, "I like oatmeal."

"That's what we had for breakfast," Aidan grinned, "Oatmeal and fruit. Delicious."

"We had pancakes," Glenn retorted.

Nicholas gasped, "With syrup?"

"Of course. What good are pancakes without syrup?" Tara scoffed.

"Where did you get pancakes and syrup?" Aidan demanded.

"Carol," Glenn replied.

"How?"

Tara shrugged, "It's Carol. We don't ask, we just eat."

Glenn gave Beth a hug, rubbing her back softly, "You OK?" he whispered. She nodded and smiled. "Good." He nuzzled Judith and kissed her head, "Kiss the baby for luck."

Judith squealed as he tickled her neck. Tara and Noah both came over to kiss her too. Tara lifted her little hand for a fist bump that made Judith giggle.

"I don't believe in luck," Eugene said. "But never let it be said I refused a kiss from a pretty girl." He kissed the baby's cheek and winked at Beth.

Maggie stood with her arm around Beth as the van pulled out, blaring music. "I'll see you later, OK?" Maggie said as she went with Deanna and Reg.

*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*

Carol tiptoed into the master bedroom to find Beth stretched out on top of the blankets sound asleep. She crept to the nursery and peeked at the baby, sprawled out in her crib. Carol walked back to the bed and smiled down at Beth as she realized Beth held a torn off flannel sleeve in her fist, tucked up under her chin. She gently pulled the top blanket over her and left the room. She'd just shut the bedroom door when she heard a sound from downstairs.

Carol strode down the stairs, following the sounds to the closet at the base of the stairs where she found young Sam.

*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*

"You're going to have to kill him," Carol said. Rick just stared at her.

"Kill who?"

Both of them whirled to see Beth standing, holding Judith. Rick took a breath to respond but Carol reacted more quickly. "I need you to listen to me," Carol advanced until she was face to face with Beth. "You stay away from Pete. You don't go over to that house. If he comes here you do not let him in. You do not talk to him unless one of us is with you. You do not go near him. Understand?"

Beth nodded, "What did he do?"

"He's beating his wife," Carol replied. "Maybe his kids."

Rick sighed, "You think."

"I know," Carol replied.

Beth looked at Rick, her face set firm, "Carol's right then. You will."

"He's a doctor," Rick sighed. "The only doctor we have."

"So it's OK?" Carol snapped.

"No! Of course not."

Beth walked over and sat Judith down into the playpen, distracting her with a musical toy. "Officer Licari said it best. A doctor we don't trust is less than worthless. Do you really trust him to treat Judith? Or Carl?" Rick sighed and shook his head. "Steven killed that other doctor at Grady without a second's hesitation. If you just confront Pete, there's no tellin' what he'll do." She took a deep breath, "He was drunk when he looked at my shoulder at the party."

"Are you sure?" Carol asked.

Beth nodded, "I saw the signs right away."

Rick sighed heavily and rubbed the beard that was starting to come back in. "I…"

Carl burst through the door, startling them all, "Dad! Glenn's back. It's bad. Real bad." Rick and Carol followed him back outside. Beth scooped up Judith and tucked her onto her hip to go behind them.

*x*x*x*x*x*x*x* X *x*x*x*x*x*x*x*

_Shadows fill an empty heart  
As love is fading,  
From all the things that we are  
But are not saying.  
Can we see beyond the stars  
And make it to the dawn?_

_Change the colors of the sky._  
_And open up to_  
_The ways you made me feel alive,_  
_The ways I loved you._  
_For all the things that never died,_  
_To make it through the night,_  
_Love will find you._

_What about now?_  
_What about today?_  
_What if you're making me all that I was meant to be?_  
_What if our love never went away?_  
_What if it's lost behind words we could never find?_  
_Baby, before it's too late,_  
_What about now?_

_The sun is breaking in your eyes_  
_To start a new day._  
_This broken heart can still survive_  
_With a touch of your grace._  
_Shadows fade into the light._  
_I am by your side,_  
_Where love will find you._

_What about now?_  
_What about today?_  
_What if you're making me all that I was meant to be?_  
_What if our love, it never went away?_  
_What if it's lost behind words we could never find?_  
_Baby, before it's too late,_  
_What about now?_

_Now that we're here,_  
_Now that we've come this far,_  
_Just hold on._  
_There is nothing to fear,_  
_For I am right beside you._  
_For all my life,_  
_I am yours._

_What about now?_  
_What about today?_  
_What if you're making me all that I was meant to be?_  
_What if our love never went away?_  
_What if it's lost behind words we could never find?_

_What about now?_  
_What about today?_  
_What if you're making me all that I was meant to be?_  
_What if our love never went away?_  
_What if it's lost behind words we could never find?_  
_Baby, before it's too late,_  
_Baby, before it's too late,_  
_Baby, before it's too late,_  
_What about now?_

**What About Now – Daughtry – lyrics by****: Hodges, David / Hartzler, Josh / Moody, Ben  
Lyrics © EMI Music Publishing, BMG RIGHTS MANAGEMENT US, LLC, BUG MUSIC, Chrysalis One Music**


	7. Chapter 7

**Breaking Free 7**

**All recognized characters, situations, and dialog belong to AMC, the creators, writers, and actors of The Walking Dead. Major spoilers exist, still working Beth into season 5b. Spoilers for Try. **I'm still planning on finishing out the season, it's only one more episode, but really I don't like where they're taking everyone this season, especially Rick – haven't we been down the 'Rick loses his mind over a woman' road before? Plus the whole Carl just wandering off again (been there done, that, remember Dale and the swamp walker?) Also, what about all the bonding between Rick, Michonne, and Carl along the way – doesn't seem to matter anymore. Neither does anyone they lost more than a day ago. Once again, no funeral. Just two of them over four new graves? I can see putting up a marker but why dig a hole with no body, and why four? I used to love this show so much…

*x*x*x*x*x*x*x* X *x*x*x*x*x*x*x*

By the time Rick, Carol, and Carl reached the van, people were already carrying Tara and Nicholas out. Deanna was clutching at Reg as Maggie looked on in stunned shock.

"I'm sorry," Glenn cried. "I am so sorry. But Aidan caused this. He ignored what I told him and fired a shot into a grenade that blew himself and Tara up. We tried to save him, but he was trapped and dying. Then this asshole," his voice broke as Nicholas was carried past. "Panicked in a bad spot and sacrificed us to save his own ass. Because of him, Noah was ripped apart right in front of me. We could've…"

"Glenn," Rick quietly tried to stop his rampage.

Glenn whirled, "What? You want me to calm down? It was a simple run, we would've been fine, now because of their actions Noah and Aidan are dead. Tara may soon be!" Then his eyes found Beth, standing off to the side with Judith on her hip. Glenn gripped his hair and yanked. "Jesus, Beth…" Maggie finally threw off her shock and went to Glenn to hold him.

"Come on Beth," Carl urged as he turned her around. "Let's go back to the house now."

*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*

Beth was sitting on the bathroom floor, sobbing, when Michonne walked in. Michonne didn't say a word just walked to the sink and soaked a washcloth in cool water. She handed it over and Beth pressed it to her face.

"It's not fair. Not after everything he's been through. After a year in Grady, then the escape. He came back for me, you know. Then the trip up here and what he went through in Richmond. It's not fair for him to die like that," Beth choked on her sobs. "If I hadn't…"

"You can't think that way, Beth," Michonne interrupted as she slid down the wall to sit next to her. "A million things led us to this point, for better or worse. We're here. And we just have to keep going." She pulled Beth close. "I wanted to give up after Andrea. Never really had a friend like her before. Spent all that time chasing ghosts around the countryside. Half hoping some walker would put an end to me. Put me out of my misery. But nothing did and in time the misery… became bearable. You survived losing your Dad," her voice cracked and she cleared her throat, "losing the prison. Grady. Getting shot. You will survive this, baby, you will."

They sat together for a long moment, then heard Judith begin to fuss in her crib. Beth sighed and wiped her face again. "Want me to get her?" Michonne asked.

Beth shook her head and pushed to her feet, "I got it. Her afternoon nap's over."

Judith was sitting up in the crib. As soon as Beth appeared in the doorway, she quieted and smiled, "Beh!"

"Hello Jujube," Beth crooned as she scooped up the baby. "There's my sweet girl." Judith patted her damp cheeks and nuzzled close.

"We keep going," Michonne said from behind her. "Because it's all we can do. We will make this place work. We have to." As she walked away, Rick walked in. They nodded to each other.

Beth quickly changed Judith's diaper and dressed her. "How's Tara?"

"Holding on," Rick replied. "I'm so sorry about Noah."

"He wanted to help this place work," Beth said. "He was going to learn from Reg how to build and maintain the walls."

"I know."

Beth turned with the baby on her hip, "These walls are an illusion. They keep the people inside believin' they're safe in this world gone to hell. But walls fall Rick. They always do. There's no keepin' the outside out for very long. These people never should've survived this long."

"They're weak," Rick nodded. "We're not."

"They're worse than weak, Rick, they're slippin'. Slidin' down a steep slope into chaos, and they're draggin' us down with them. They're goin' to get more of us killed. We never shoulda come here."

*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*

Night fell quickly. Daryl finished stringing the cans that would act as a warning signal for anyone or anything approaching. Aaron turned, "Soup's on. Well less soup and more… stew, I guess? It's probably not bad, Eric cooked it and I managed to not burn it… much."

They ate silently then settled in for the night.

Daryl sighed, tucking his hands under his head.

"Guess you're used to the outdoors."

Daryl glanced over to where Aaron was leaning against the car. "Yeah. Been in 'em all my life. It's inside I ain't used to."

"You came in though."

"The boy and the baby need a safe place. The others too."

Silence fell for a long moment, then Aaron chuckled, "Sorry. Just remembering this stray cat that Eric's mom took in. Thing was wild, covered in fleas and ticks. She took him in, cleaned him up, fed him. Then she let him back outside. A few days later he was back for another meal and night in a bed. He wandered for a while, but always came back to her house. As he got older, he wandered less and less."

"Nothin' worse than an outdoor cat that thinks he's an indoor cat," Daryl remembered.

Aaron shrugged, "He was always an outdoor cat. You can't change who you are by coming inside. No more than walking into a garage makes you a mechanic. You are who you are."

"I ain't the same as who I was before."

"At the core you are," Aaron argued. "We all change, adjust and adapt. We all grow up at some point. But inside, truly inside our soul, we are who we are."

Daryl fell silent, chewing on his thumbnail as he stared up at the stars. "Eric's parents… you knew them?"

Aaron sighed as he settled down onto his back, "Yeah. My parents… kicked me out as soon as they realized about me. I'd barely admitted it to myself, hell I was still dating my high school girlfriend."

"My Dad… wasn't a nice guy. He kicked me out when I was fifteen. My mom'd been dead for years by then."

"Where did you go?"

"My brother. You?"

"Friends. Lived for a few weeks on a teacher's couch. Finished school, took the college offer that took me the furthest away from home and ran for it. I went back a few years later, but they'd moved. No idea where they went. Eric's parents on the other hand," he smiled. "His dad was this gruff, firm, conservative war vet. But he flat out told Eric 'You are my son and I will love you no matter what'. He and I bonded over world travels and being in war zones. He was an amazing man."

"Gone?"

"Few years ago," Aaron nodded, "I was on my way to the Middle East for work so we were having a barbeque. He turned around from the grill to say something to me and his heart just stopped. He was gone before he hit the ground. We lost his mom about six months later. She'd been fighting cancer, but… lost the will at that point."

"Sorry," Daryl whispered.

Aaron sighed, "Me too. But they would've been lost in this. She especially would've hated to be seen as any sort of burden. Beth reminds me of her a bit. That sweet, angelic exterior covering a backbone of solid steel."

Daryl smiled to himself, "Yeah, that's Beth."

"How long have you two been together?"

Daryl shrugged and grunted. When Aaron remained silent, Daryl sighed, "Not long. We was friends, I guess. Was kinda on all of us to protect her and the other kids. Then it was just us, alone, wanderin'. And one day I looked at her, and she wasn't a kid no more. Still mine to protect and provide for, but more than that. You know?"

Aaron nodded, smiling, "I met Eric at work. For a while it was just friendship, then one day it was something more. Hit me like a freight train. Thing was, Eric knew all along. He was just waiting for me to figure it out. When I finally asked him out, he gave me this smile, like finally, what took you so long."

"I know that smile. She called me an idiot."

Aaron snorted, "Oh yeah, I've been the idiot more than once. Thankfully the people we love are more than patient with us, despite our idiocy." He yawned. "Guess we should get some rest. Want me to take first watch?"

"Nah I got it."

*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*

Next day -

"Beth, they're startin'," Maggie called. Beth was kneeling next to the little stream with the baby strapped to her. "What were you doin'?"

Beth showed her the small stone she'd found, "For the memorial. There aren't any rocks in this place, they cleared them all out."

"Oh," Glenn blinked, "They have headstones ready. They're putting them on the graves."

Beth followed slowly, "Why are they diggin' graves? There aren't any bodies."

"It's still a sign of respect," one of the women she'd met at the party snapped as she walked by.

Beth fell silent and remained that way for the rest of the service. After the words were spoken and the two empty graves were filled in, everyone wandered away. Beth went silently to Noah's memorial and placed the stone on top. Judith whimpered as Beth cried silent tears, alone. Beth rocked her gently and turned away to find someone waiting for her.

"Hey," Abraham said. "Dropped off Rosita at the clinic. I'll walk you back." He offered her his hand to step down off the curb. "I thought maybe you'd sing."

Beth sniffled, "I'll sign for Noah. I won't sing for the man who got him killed."

"Yeah," he rubbed her back, "I get that. These people… Shit hit the fan yesterday at the job site. Seems petty now, but they left someone behind. If I hadn't acted, she'd be dead."

Beth nodded, "Just remember Abraham, we need you to come back alive too. Every time. You can't expect any of them to help you, they're not like us. Sounds like their way is everyone for themselves."

He walked her up the stairs to the house, on the front porch was a large plastic bin. Abraham opened it to find diapers and baby clothes. "That should be the last of it. Suzanne said Joseph would drop it off," Beth said. "These people had enough baby stuff for quadruplets and then some. I think maybe they didn't do laundry."

Abraham hefted the box, "Considering the neighborhood I'd assume they had someone who did laundry for them. So no more visits from Joey?"

"Nope."

"Way to go Daryl."

*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*

Eugene sat next to Tara, reading aloud from a comic book Carl had brought him. He turned as there was a gentle knock on the doorframe. "Hey Tara, Beth and Judith are here. And they brought food."

Beth smiled, "Carol was afraid you were starvin' yourself."

Eugene shrugged and took the offered container. He moved out of the way so Beth could take the visitor's seat.

"Ta-Ta," Judith called. She pushed herself up to stand on Beth's lap as Beth braced her.

"Tara's sleepin'," Beth replied. "She bumped her head. But she'll wake up soon." She glanced back at Eugene, "You need to eat that. I gotta take the container back with me."

"I'm not really hungry," Eugene opened it and inhaled the aroma, grinning self-consciously as his stomach growled loudly. "Maybe a little." Judith giggled.

"You gotta eat. Won't do Tara any good if you pass out," Beth said.

"She's here because of me."

"Yep," Beth nodded. Eugene blinked at her. She rubbed his arm soothingly. "Glenn told us. She was knocked out because Aidan shot the grenade. They got to the office, then left you to go for Aidan. You got Tara out. Got her to the van, then waited for Glenn. They're both alive because of you. You've told us a dozen times that you're a coward."

"I am."

She rubbed his back, "You didn't run, Eugene. You didn't abandon her or Glenn. Cowards run. They abandon people. Nicholas is a coward. You are far from it. Now eat."

Beth pulled a book from the diaper bag to entertain the baby, while Eugene ate. Once he was done, she packed back up to leave. "Try to get some rest too, OK?"

Eugene nodded, "Hey wait a minute. Bring the baby back." Beth complied and Eugene lifted Tara's hand and curled her fingers into a fist. Beth smiled and did the same to Judith, bringing their hands together in Tara's preferred fist bump. "For luck." Eugene gave Judith a quick kiss on her head. Beth smiled at him and patted his back before she left.

Eugene took his spot back next to Tara. He picked up the comic book and thumbed through until he found his place. Then he leaned over and grinned at Tara, "I just had a pretty girl rub my arm and pat my back while she said nice things to me. I'm calling that first base. You wake up and we'll talk about it. Not that I'm expecting it to go anywhere, I mean come on, my sense of self-preservation is too high to let me make a move on Daryl Dixon's girl. Still it was nice." He sighed, "You wake up and laugh at me. Please."

*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*

Beth was sitting in the living room playing with Judith when a loud crash startled her. She scooped up the baby and went outside to see Rick and Pete fighting in the street. Sam ran to Carol as Beth walked down the steps to the sidewalk.

"RICK!" Beth yelled at the same time Jessie screamed, "PETE!"

Pete and Rick didn't pause in their assault on each other, but their snarled orders overlapped, "Jessie get your ass back in that house!" "Beth go inside the house, now!"

Beth retreated to the porch with Judith as Jessie, then Carl, tried to intervene. Glenn was running towards them, but none of the Alexandria residents were trying to stop the fight. Rick pulled back, bloody and battered, to berate Deanna and the others. Beth stepped back, holding Judith close, swaying to keep her soothed. When Michonne advanced and knocked Rick unconscious, Beth went inside the house letting the door slam loudly behind her. She sat Judith into the playpen and handed her a toy. Judy was anxious but calm and easily distracted with the newer toy. She went to the window to watch the activity.

Carl helped Michonne and several of the men drag Rick and Pete out of the street. Carol took Sam and Jessie into their house along with Ron. Maggie and Glenn went with Deanna and Reg, Beth could see them talking animatedly. She knew Abraham was back out on the work crew and Rosita was probably back with Eugene and Tara.

"I'll be right back, Judy," Beth smiled. Then she ran upstairs. It only took a few minutes to gather what she needed, the plain dark green sling she wasn't using daily, a package of diapers, several items of clothing for her and the baby. She shoved them all into a duffel bag she'd found in the supplies at the house and carried it down stairs to the kitchen to add a few cans that wouldn't be missed. Just as she reached the living room where the baby played contentedly, someone knocked on the kitchen door. She answered it with her hand on her knife to find Enid there.

"Hi," Enid greeted, "Is Carl back?"

"Not yet," Beth replied.

"Oh, OK."

"Enid, wait," Beth said. She lowered her voice, "I've seen you climb the wall in and out."

"Yeah," Enid replied cautiously.

"I won't tell anyone, I swear. But I need your help. I need you to take this bag over the wall and hide it somewhere you can tell me how to find easily. And I need it to be a secret, from everyone."

Enid nodded, "Things are falling apart here too, aren't they?"

"Things always fall apart," Beth replied.

Enid took the bag. "If you walk straight out from this wall junction here, there's a place with a hollowed out tree. It's about ten feet taller than the ones around it. I've hidden things up inside it before, I'll put your bag there. If you promise to take me with you when you go."

Beth nodded, "OK, I promise."

Enid jogged away with the bag over her shoulder. Beth watched as she waited until the area was clear, and climbed up the wall skillfully. Once she disappeared over the side, Beth shut the kitchen door and went in to Judith.

"I never considered… taking you away from him, Jude," Beth whispered as the baby played. "But if he's in that dark place again… We'll be OK until Daryl gets back. Here or outside."

"Beh."

*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*

_I came here like so many did  
To find the better life  
To find my piece of easy street  
To finally be alive  
And I know nothing good comes easy  
And all good things take some time  
I made my bed I'll lie in it  
To die in it's the crime_

_You can't help but prosper_  
_Where the streets are paved with gold_  
_They say the oil wells ran deeper here_  
_than anybody's known_  
_Now, I packed up on my wife and kid_  
_And left them both back at home_

_See, there's nothing in this pay dirt_  
_The ghosts are all I know_  
_Now the oil's gone_  
_And the money's gone_  
_All the jobs are gone_  
_Still we're hangin' on_

…

_Man spends his whole life  
Waiting praying for some big reward  
It seems sometimes  
The payoff leaves you feeling  
Like a dirty whore  
If I could choose the way I'll die  
Make it by the gun or knife  
'Cause the other way there's too much pain  
Night after night after night after night_

_Down in dry county_  
_They're swimming in the sand_  
_Praying for some holy water_  
_To wash the sins from off my hands_  
_Here in dry county_  
_**The promise has run dry**_  
_**Where nobody cries**_  
_**And no one's getting out of here alive**_

Dry County – lyrics by Jon Bon Jovi – album Keep the Faith, May 1994

*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*


	8. Chapter 8

So… that was the 'momentous, amazing, cannot be contained within 60 minutes, going to need tissues (according to N. Reedus) over multiple surprises and deaths' – season finale. OK. Maybe I'm too cynical or maybe I missed something. I liked it, loved that Morgan finally made it, (though I thought he was further behind them time wise), vote for _walker kill of the week_ award is tied between Daryl's use of the chain and Aaron's use of the Alaska license plate. I wasn't surprised or saddened by the deaths, though worried about a few people along the way (I think my heart stopped when Daryl said "I'll go.") I didn't need a single tissue for this one.

**Breaking Free 8**

**All recognized characters, situations, and dialog belong to AMC, the writers, creators, and actors of The Walking Dead and episode "Conquer". The final chapter to include Beth in season 5b. I may do this again next season, but for now, this is the end of this one. Song is cited at the end.**

*x*x*x*x*x*x*x* X *x*x*x*x*x*x*x*

_You feel like a candle in a hurricane  
Just like a picture with a broken frame  
Alone and helpless, like you've lost your fight  
But you'll be alright, you'll be alright_

_'Cause when push comes to shove_  
_You taste what you're made of_  
_You might bend 'til you break_  
_'Cause it's all you can take_

_On your knees you look up  
Decide you've had enough  
You get mad, you get strong  
Wipe your hands, shake it off  
Then you stand, yeah, then you stand  
*x*x*x*x*x*x*x* _

Rick stood at the back door and watched Beth in the yard. She was hanging clothes on the line, singing softly. Judith was on a blanket at her feet, singing back to Beth as she bounced her ragdoll on her lap. Rick carefully sank down to sit on the steps. Beth glanced over but didn't react to his arrival. After a few peaceful minutes of the serenity and perfection of the moment, Judith saw him and squealed.

"Dadadadadada," Judith lifted her hands smiling.

Rick groaned as he pushed to his feet. Beth scooped Judy up to carry her to him. "Thanks," he said as he took his daughter. "Hey." Judith babbled a series of sounds. He just smiled at her even as she patted one of the bruises on his face. She turned to Beth and chattered on.

"Really? Is that so?" Beth replied. Judith laughed and reached for her.

Rick handed her over, "I almost think you know what she said."

Beth tucked Judith onto her hip, "Nah. All that matters is you respond to her. Someday she'll say real words."

Rick stroked Judith's hair. "I'm sorry, Beth. Sorry I yelled at you. Sorry… for everything."

Beth leveled her gaze at him, an intense stare that reminded him of the strength of will hidden inside of her. She walked by him to go inside the house. He followed silently as she sat the baby into the high chair and scattered a handful of slightly stale crackers on the tray. Judith banged her hands down then pinched one between her fingers to guide it to her mouth. Beth turned to Rick, her chin coming up firmly, that stare locking him into place, "If you lose it again. If you go into the place you were after Lori… If you get that way again, I will take her away. I was afraid when she was born. I was afraid you would hurt her because Lori died and she lived. Yesterday… I was afraid of you again. I know there is too much ridin' on you but you gotta keep it together. Or I will take her away from you. My job is to take care of her, to protect her. Even if that's from you. I don't want to, but I will."

Rick nodded, "I know you will," he gave her a weak smile, "Momma bear." He took a deep breath, "I'm not… losing it. Yesterday was me… forgetting who I am. Who I need to be. Just long enough to do something really, really stupid. I hope you're never afraid of me again, but if you are, then yes, you take her, take Carl, and get away. I know that she's never safer than when she's with you." He opened his arms, after a second she approached and he gently pulled her to his chest to wrap his arms around her. "It's going to be OK. I'm going to be OK. I'm going to fix this."

Beth took a deep shuddering breath, "I don't know if you can, Rick. These people… they're so blind to the reality of what's happenin'. How many are we gonna have to let die before they wake up?"

He kissed her forehead as she pulled away, "I don't know. But this place is ours. This is how we survive." He glanced back as Carl walked into the kitchen. "You two aren't going to the meeting tonight. If things… start to go bad, my signal to the others is a whistle. If you hear it, you grab what you can and go. Carl you take Beth and Judy to the place where you and I met, near that house…"

"I have a place to go," Beth broke in. "Daryl set it up with supplies, food, water. And I've got more of what I need hidden outside."

"How?"

"Enid," Beth replied.

"Where is it? The place?" Rick asked. Beth took a breath, then shook her head. Rick closed his eyes, sorrow at the loss of trust his actions had caused. "OK. You two get the baby out. Go to Beth's safe haven. If we get out, we'll meet at the house at noon tomorrow. If not… Daryl should be back in a few days."

"Dad, please," Carl said, "Please talk to them, make them understand."

"I'll try."

Carl sighed, "Beth told me why you fought Pete." Rick looked at Beth who just looked back. "I don't understand… Ron is older, he's big. Why didn't he stop his dad?"

Rick sighed, realizing Beth had just told Carl about the abuse, "I don't know Carl. But Pete is his dad."

"So? You're my dad. I love you, I'd do anything for you, but if you ever tried to hurt Judith, I'd stop you."

Rick smiled, "I never, ever will. But it's good that you would do that. I don't know… When that's all you know, you think that's just the way life is. You know my dad wasn't nice, but I was alone growing up. I hope if I'd had a younger brother or sister that I would've stood up and made it stop."

"You would've," Carl replied. "You did. You made Pete stop. He's moved to another house now."

"Yeah," Rick said.

"But he's still here," Beth said. "And the house he's in is close. He can still see Jessie and the boys, they can still see him. It's… paused. It's not stopped, Carl. Men like that don't stop."

"He will," Rick insisted. "He has no choice."

"What about Jessie's choice?" Carl asked. "What if she wants him to come home?"

Rick just shrugged and shook his head.

"It's a strange thing…" Beth broke off as Judith squealed. She walked over and freed the baby from the highchair, settling her on her hip. "Jessie's a stylist. Seems like she worked to support the family while Pete was in medical school. Then he gets out and becomes this fancy surgeon, high society, but she's still just a stylist. There's nothin' wrong with it, but it makes a very unbalanced power in the relationship. I guess he liked it that way."

"Yeah," Carl nodded, "Especially here, now. He's the great and powerful doctor. He's… I don't know what word I want… but looked up to, like he's real high above everyone."

"Revered," Rick supplied. "Yeah. It makes it harder, but not impossible. Just because he's saved lives doesn't give him the right to hurt anyone, especially not the people he's supposed to protect above all else."

Carl sighed, "How did they hide it so long? This place… everyone knows everything about everyone. How did they not know?"

"They did."

Carl's face tightened in anger, "Oh."

*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*

Beth and Carl watched as Rick walked away from the house. As he turned the corner out of sight, Beth looked at Carl, "I think you should go invite Enid over. She's probably not going to the meeting. You two can play a game or somethin' to pass the time. I'll make some popcorn."

Carl leaned against her for a second, "You don't think this is going to go well do you?"

"No. And I promised Enid in exchange for takin' my bag over the wall."

"Promised what?"

"To take her with us. Go get her." Beth crossed to where Judith played contentedly in the playpen.

"I… I like her, Beth," Carl admitted softly.

"I know," Beth smiled. "It's good. She's nice. More important, she's strong. She's a survivor."

"Like us."

"Like us. Go on."

Carl nodded and walked out.

*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*

Daryl's hand shook slightly as he lit the cigarette, "I'll go, draw 'em away. You run for the fence." He blinked rapidly as his heart clenched, thoughts going as they always did, to Beth. He pulled a photograph from his pocket, one Aaron had taken at their house. Beth sat on the front porch with Judith on her lap. They were looking at each other and laughing. He traced the curve of Beth's smile. "Tell Beth…"

"No," Aaron interrupted. He waited until Daryl looked at him, "How many promises to Beth have you broken?"

Daryl shrugged, "Promised to protect her, instead let her get stolen from me. Let her get hurt."

"And spent every possible moment searching for her," Aaron replied. "I was listening remember, watching? It was rare when I was following that you weren't within reach of each other. You protected her. More it seems you taught her to protect herself." He paused for a moment, "I saw you two in the woods by the barn."

Daryl remembered the moment, his confession to her. Then he remembered why he'd taken her into the woods and he scowled fiercely at the other man. Aaron frowned in confusion, then rolled his eyes, "I didn't watch her pee, Daryl. My point is… you can't protect her if you're not there. You promised to come back to her. It's a promise you have to keep. Besides, I really do not want to be the one to go back and tell her that something happened to you."

Daryl sighed, "I don't wanna hafta tell Eric."

Aaron nodded, "So we go together. We fight. We fight hard because we've both got promises to keep."

Daryl nodded and crushed out the cigarette, "On three… One… Two…" the walker next to his window exploded in a shower of blood and bone.

*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*

Morgan swallowed hard and tightened the seatbelt over his chest, "Been a long time since I've been in a car," he said softly. The motorcycle drew slightly further ahead of them in the dimming light. "He's really in a hurry, we're goin' kinda fast."

Aaron chuckled, "Yeah. He's got a girl waiting for him at home."

"Ahh," Morgan nodded in understanding, "And you? Girlfriend? Wife? Kids?"

"Boyfriend, actually," Aaron replied. "Together since before."

"Oh," Morgan said. "That's lucky, real lucky."

"I know."

*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*

Enid and Carl sat in the kitchen with a board game between them and a bowl of popcorn. Beth was in the living room with Judith, reading to her from Winnie the Pooh. Carl repeatedly glanced out the open window, listening intently.

"It's going to be OK," Enid whispered as she gently rolled the dice onto a dishtowel so the sound was muffled. "No matter what, it'll be OK."

Carl nodded.

Suddenly from outside they heard the sounds of a struggle, and a muffled gunshot. Beth jumped up and grabbed the fireplace poker. Carl yanked open a drawer and pulled out a large knife.

Beth strode into the kitchen, "Enid take the baby and stay behind us."

Enid took a deep breath, "No," she reached out and took the poker from Beth, "You take the baby and stay behind us."

Carl burst out the door to find Rick struggling to his feet, covered in walker blood. "Dad?"

"The gate was open," Rick replied. "We've got walkers inside."

Two more walkers staggered out of the darkness. Rick and Carl met them head on, each stabbing one directly in the head. A third appeared and with a fierce scowl, Enid charged and slammed the poker directly through its eye and out the back of its skull. She lost her grip as it fell, but quickly grabbed the tool and yanked it free again. Rick nodded his approval. Another came around the corner and lunged at Beth still holding the baby. It grabbed her leg and yanked. Beth stumbled, but brought her hunting knife down into the top of the walker's head and twisted it, dropping the walker in its tracks.

"You OK?" Rick asked, going to check her calf but the walker hadn't gotten past the heavy denim jeans she wore.

"Fine," Beth nodded. Judith was whining in fear so Beth swayed gently to soothe her, singing softly into her ear until she quieted.

Rick, Carl, and Enid made a quick sweep around the house and the surrounding yards then returned. Rick looked down at the walkers' bodies. "You three, follow me." He grabbed the walker Beth had put down and yanked it into a fireman's carry.

"Should we bring one of the others?" Carl asked as he nudged one of the walkers with his foot.

"No," Rick replied. "One'll be enough. Come on."

Carl offered his hand as Beth came down the steps, then extended his other to Enid. She took it shyly but gripped it firmly as they walked behind Rick. Rick went straight to the gathering and dumped the walker onto the ground. Carl let go of the girls' hands as they entered the group. He went straight to Michonne with Enid following silently. Beth stepped to one side out of the way as Rick began to speak. When Maggie left the assembly, she reached out to Beth. Beth gave her a quick squeeze as she passed.

*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*

When Pete arrived, Michonne pulled Carl and Enid behind her. Carol started to push Eugene aside so she could go to Beth, but he was already moving through the crowd towards her. He subtly placed himself between her and the angry, sword carrying doctor.

*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*

"Rick," Deanna looked up and commanded, "Do it."

Beth knew instinctively what was coming and shifted so Judith was facing away. She covered the baby's ear with her hand, pressing her head against her chest. When the gun fired, she forced herself to remain still and calm, never taking her eyes off the execution. Judith flinched at the loud crack, but didn't cry. She simply nuzzled closer to Beth, resting her cheek and ear against Beth's heart.

"Rick?"

Beth looked up and took the first easy breath in days when she saw Daryl standing there with Aaron and the stranger who'd spoken Rick's name. Daryl took in the scene at a glance and started toward her. Eugene turned with his hands out and Beth handed the baby to him. Eugene obviously wasn't expecting it because he froze, eyes going wide in shock to find himself holding Judith. He kept his arms stiff and still, shuffling his feet until he turned around to face Carl.

"Please," Eugene whispered.

Carl rolled his eyes and took his sister, "She's not a bomb."

"No," Eugene wiped his forehead with a shaky hand, "But you have to admit she's been known to explode and… leak."

Daryl gathered Beth to his chest, holding her tight. She wrapped her arms around him and pressed her face into his neck. "You OK?" he asked as he kissed her hair and inhaled her scent, filling his lungs to replace the stench of the day.

"I am now," she replied.

*x*x*x*x*x*x*x* X *x*x*x*x*x*x*x*

The moon shone down on the silent houses… and on the wolves that were way too close.

*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*

Eugene smiled as Tara's eyes opened. Rosita leaned against Abraham and he rubbed her back. Tara stretched out her hand and Eugene bumped her fist with his.

*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*

Maggie gently bandaged Glenn's shoulder, wincing as he flinched in pain. She kissed his cheek. He stared up at her then wrapped his arms around her to rest his forehead against her shoulder.

*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*

Jessie sobbed on the couch, clutching one of Pete's shirts. Ron scowled at her and led Sam up to his room.

*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*

Deanna sat in the darkened living room staring at a family photograph. Her eyes were dry and distant. Spencer sat in his father's chair, tears streaming down his face.

*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*

Sasha helped Gabriel straighten up the mess in the church. She found the bible on the floor and placed it on the pulpit. When it fell open, she saw the places where the pages had been torn out. Gabriel's chin quivered as he looked at the damage. Sasha reached into the inside pocket of Bob's coat and pulled out Tyreese's bible. She gently laid it down next to the damaged one, gave it one last pat, then walked away.

*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*

Carol poured four glasses of whiskey and placed them in front of Morgan, Michonne, and Rick before taking a long swallow of her own. She walked over to glance into the living room where Enid was asleep on the sofa with Carl on the floor on a pallet of blankets.

*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*

Beth changed the baby into one of the regular diapers Daryl had retrieved on the run then snapped her into the warm sleeper. Daryl stood in the doorway between the rooms, just watching her. Beth moved to the rocker and sat down with Judith cuddled against her. Judith pressed her cheek to Beth's chest and smiled as Daryl stooped down next to them. Then she yawned and closed her eyes. Beth rocked for a moment, then Daryl helped her stand up and carry the dozing infant to her crib. Judith fussed a bit, then soothed herself to sleep. Beth leaned against Daryl and he held her close.

"It's going to be OK," he whispered. "I'm here. I ain't never gonna leave yah behind again."

*x*x*x*x*x*x*x* X *x*x*x*x*x*x*x*

_Life's like a novel with the end ripped out  
The edge of a canyon with only one way down  
Take what you're given before it's gone  
And start holdin' on, keep holdin' on_

_'Cause when push comes to shove_  
_You taste what you're made of_  
_You might bend 'til you break_  
_'Cause it's all you can take_

_On your knees you look up_  
_Decide you've had enough_  
_You get mad, you get strong_  
_Wipe your hands, shake it off_  
_Then you stand, yeah, then you stand_

_Every time you get up_  
_And get back in the race_  
_One more small piece of you_  
_Starts to fall into place, yeah_

_'Cause when push comes to shove_  
_You taste what you're made of_  
_You might bend 'til you break_  
_'Cause it's all you can take_

_Yeah, then you stand_  
_Yeah, baby_  
_Woo hoo, woo hoo_  
_Woo hoo, woo hoo_  
_Then you stand, yeah yeah_

Rascal Flatts – Stand – lyrics by Eric Blair Daly and Dan Earnest Orton


End file.
